Zack, one of the bad boys from the DOA series, unearths a sunken resort through a rather silly cutscene and opens it to seemingly no one but the ladies from the same license. That’s the last you see of Zack (until the puzzlingly explosive ending); he’s probably carefully monitoring island… security through one of many HD video feeds. Anyway, you begin the game by selecting a character to play as, and start your island getaway with help from Lisa, who acts as a guide/opponent/teammate throughout the introductory sequences. The answer to your question is yes – the game features extraordinary bouncing breasts, a trademark of the DOA series from the very first game. They seem to defy all laws of physics (in size and movement), but apparently that’s half the appeal of DOA. Can’t hurt, right?
Becoming accustomed to the island is an extremely simple task; there isn’t actually any free roaming feature. For an Xbox 360 title this is completely inexcusable. Rather, you simply select which location to travel to via a menu, and once there the corresponding game or activity begins automatically. Considering the island isn’t actually that big, and there aren’t many locations, it makes no sense to completely eliminate free character movement.
There's just nothing more to say.
The game is a vacation, nothing more. It lasts 14 days – which may sound like a long time, but we need to consider what comprises of one day. They’re split up into four segments: morning, daytime, evening, and nighttime. Each timeframe can include one, or occasionally two, activities. Considering some games last no more than a minute, it’s entirely possible to blast through one day in five minutes. So yes, the entire game can be completed in one to two hours, depending on how much time is spent browsing in the stores.
What makes the incredibly short-lived experience even worse is the finicky and confusing mini-games. On offer are several beach activities, including Beach Flags, Volleyball, Jet Ski Racing, and a ride on the world’s deadliest waterslide – where success is only achieved when you actually stay on the slide, as opposed to falling off and launching into a jungle. There are also a few pool-related games, including Water-hopping (jump across the pool on floating pads), Tug-O-War, and the quirky Butt Battle, featuring you and another stunningly perfect female battling posteriors in an attempt to knock the other off a floating platform. The biggest problem with all of these games is the win/lose structure. After reading the pitiful instructions for controls, you’re expected to awkwardly master the button-pressing or stick movements for victory. More often than not you’ll begin and give one of the moves a try, only to find out it didn’t quite register – and by this time you’ll have been defeated. Game over. There’s no second chance, no practice mode – if you can’t get the fiddly controls down in less than approximately three attempts, there’s one of fourteen days gone.
The biggest two activities are Beach Volleyball (although the “volleyball” has been scrapped from the title, it’s now just “Xtreme!”) and Jet Ski racing (a new addition). Volleyball is downright broken, primarily being a random mash of buttons while attempting to form some kind of reliable defence. The B button is used to set, and the A to return or spike. It might have worked reasonably well were it not for the terrible camera angle. It’s permanently fixed off to one side and focused on your own team, so the opposing team is halfway cut off by the edge of the screen – including when the ball is on their side. This leads to random button mashing as the ball flies in from the right side of the screen, because you have no indication of exactly where the ball is going to land. You spend more time watching the victory scenes of the girls jumping around than actually playing.
Xtreme-ly hot.
Jet Ski racing is the most in-depth and entertaining aspect of the entire game. You’ll compete in races against up to three girls, and tear around the courses complete with ramps for performing rather spectacular tricks. The X button can also be used for “flair”, which nets bonus points and a super sexy pose. Nice. The skis handle reasonably well and are good fun, but again the lack of free roaming is a serious black mark. There could have been a large island to explore, ripping around on a custom ski, but no such feature is present. The courses are random, and also somewhat repetitive – changing only a few turns or paths in some instances and branding it “new”. Winning a race earns quite a large amount of cash (all games earn cash - if you win), which can then be spent at one of the three stores on the island.
Available for your shopping pleasures are the Sports Shop, Accessory Shop and a random store of goodies, Zack of all Trades. Dress up your favourite girl with hats, sunglasses and cosmetics with the Accessory Shop, and buy presents and similarly useless items (a toaster oven and wind chimes being dull examples) from Zack of all Trades. The Sports Shop is the most important, as it sells new watercraft with different specifications, as well as fifteen pages worth of bikinis. Compelling stuff, shopping for swimwear. There’s a casino to visit at nighttime, as well as a bonus store known as the Crystal Boutique – which sells special gear via Xbox Live.
Unfortunately the game’s length will come primarily from mass item collecting. That’s the general goal, to play through the vacation over and over again with different girls, and maxing out their inventory. You’ll trade items with other girls by using the gift-giving feature, and upon returning to the hotel every night, someone (usually Zack) will have dropped off a surprise gift. The point of gift-giving is to gain favour and make friends with the other girls – they all seem to be taking a vacation at the same time, on the same island, but they all hate each other.
It doesn't matter who wins, just keep playing.
Relationship-building is an attempt to add longevity to the gameplay, and while it can take several hours to achieve desirable results, there’s no indication of progress and no dynamic tasks required. Most of the friendship seems based on giving gifts to the different girls – gifts which may be suited to their particular tastes. Use the white gift wrapping for the girl with the white hair; give a French dessert to Helena; try a Japanese drum with Ayane, and so on. That’s all there is to it, and eventually you can ask different girls to pair up and play volleyball, or one of the other hum-drum minigames. Considering volleyball isn’t any fun, and you’re always guaranteed opponents in Jet Ski racing, there’s not much incentive to make friends.
What could make DOAX2 appealing? The women, plain and simple. They look great, and especially so considering their surroundings. You can start it up and expect to spend a good few hours staring at the virtual vixens, almost as if you were on the island with them. There are actually options to “relax” or take a walk on the beach, which prompt minute-long cutscenes of the girls showing off, with absolutely no purpose or objective. We reported just recently that games have possibly evolved past the simple notion of fun, and can form complex, psychological experiences. If you think that taking a laid-back vacation with these lovely ladies is your idea of a pleasurable experience, don’t hesitate to pick it up. If you’d rather play than watch, DOAX2 probably isn’t for you.
Loading...
