Having said that, there's at least one title on XBLA Unplugged Volume 1 that's worth the asking price of the entire collection (but only if you're unconnected, we should reiterate). Geometry Wars is that title, a 2D shooter so moreish and so insanely well-balanced that nothing on Xbox Live Arcade comes close, let alone anything on this disc. Playing as a spaceship confined to a rectangular play area, the left stick moves you about, and the right stick controls your laser. It may sound like it has all the depth of a puddle, and initially its appeal isn't obvious, but as your high score gradually swells, it becomes increasingly apparent that this is gaming in its purest and rawest form.
Boasting one of the best learning curves we've ever seen, its magnetic appeal is based on two of gaming's oldest fundamentals - the addictiveness of chasing high scores, and quick reflexes. You start with three lives and three screen-clearing bombs, and from there the game gradually chucks bigger and bigger waves of enemies your way. As your score climbs, the number of enemies invading your confined area increases, palms get sweatier and your eyes desperately try to keep up with it all. Eventually, your hands are playing ahead of your brain.
There's some brilliant Achievement challenges in there, as well. Not firing a shot for the first minute of play may sound easy, but it's actually maddeningly difficult. Reaching a million points feels like you've surpassed some kind of rite of passage. The whole thing even manages to look glorious, and is accompanied by an exhilarating, thumping soundtrack. AU$8? We'd happily fork out AU$50 if we had to; it's that good. Infact, sod it, we'll say it - Geometry Wars is hands down one of the greatest shooters ever created. There.
Ah, how we love thee, Geometry Wars.
Inevitably, things head in only one direction after that. Take Bejeweled 2. In the experience of this reviewer, it's a matter of personal taste. Fiercely popular on the internet - it's quite a hit with the ladies, or so we hear - it's a puzzler which has you swapping coloured jewels about to form matching rows of three or more gems. It's highly likely that you'll have played some variant of it at one point or another - there are countless online flash versions (many of which are, uh, free), while the decent Zoo Keeper on the DS based itself entirely on the Bejeweled concept, but was actually more enjoyable, thanks to the fact that you could use the stylus. And it had giraffes. You can't beat a nice giraffe.
Anyway, point is: with its Live Arcade trousers on, Bejeweled 2 doesn't have quite the same appeal. Maybe that's because you have no choice but to push your cursor sluggishly about the grid with the D-pad or stick, resulting in an experience that lacks the pace of Zoo Keeper's manic, stylus-based gameplay. There's also a suspicion that the underlying concept isn't as sound as it first seems, as getting huge combos in Bejeweled 2 can often feel a tad lucky, as said combos use jewels that drop from off the top of the screen, jewels that you never knew were there in the first place, but that are still contributing to your massive combo scores. It's a real "Uh, how did I do that?" moment, and hardly feels that rewarding. On top of that, the soundtrack is drearier than an Air album.
Texas Hold 'Em livens things up a little, but only if you're able to play online with human opponents. Tougher AI opposition would certainly have justified the single player game more, but as your opponents there are likely to fold the moment you place a big bet on the table, it's unlikely you'll spend more than ten minutes playing on your own, unless you're a sucker for those Achievement points. As it's poker, camera support would have been fantastic here, though the banter is often entertainment enough. Hardwood Backgammon runs into much the same problems, with a competent online mode but utterly lame offline AI. And if you're unlucky enough to be without an Xbox Live connection, these two are next to worthless.
Must... Sleep...
Wik: Fable of Souls almost redeems things. Playing as Wik, a Gollum-esque man-frog who uses his grapple-like tongue to grab onto branches and ledges, you're given the task of feeding Slotham, a mule-like creature who ambles to and fro along the bottom of the screen. Slotham likes his grubs, so it's up to you to swing about the game's 120 levels, nabbing grubs with your tongue and spitting them out to the ground for Slotham to munch on. Along the way are various obstacles, including bugs who swipe the same grubs you need to feed to old Slothers, before he marches off the screen, causing you to lose.
While initially tricky to control, Wik is quite possibly the second-best game on this compilation, with some neat puzzles and tight time-based challenges. It's also pretty original, though a lack of variety becomes ever more obvious as you make your way through the game; halving the number of levels would unquestionably have made this more palatable.
That leaves Outpost Kaloki X, a fairly rudimentary strategy game that sees you managing the affairs of an intergalactic space station and serving the recreational needs of ickle cartoon aliens. Meeting these needs and attracting the customers requires you to construct various ventures (lemonade stands, newspaper stands, radio stations, pawn shops, observatories, chemistry labs, parks, ponds and so forth), all whilst managing your funds and power usage (as each venture requires a certain amount of power, you also need to build devices that will collect energy for you). It's all a bit like what would have happened if Bullfrog had set Theme Park in space, and though it hooks you in initially, a lack of detail and of variety in the goals set by the game means it wears thin after the first few hours. A shame, as this one undoubtedly had potential.
So should you buy this slightly motley anthology? Well, if you're online and have ready access to the Arcade service, our gut reaction would be a "no". However, if you live in a cave and are cut off from the delights of the Xbox Live Arcade service, this may - again, may - be worth a purchase. That's why it was so difficult to mark XBLA Unplugged Volume 1 - because its value to each individual varies considerably. Having said that, we've seen this online for as little as AU$30, and there is that free month of Xbox Live, and if you've absolutely no other way of playing it, Geometry Wars is worth that price on its own, in our opinion. It's your call.
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