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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 1:12 am Post subject: Story Intro Reply with quote

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This little forum seems to be under-utilized a bit, so I thought I'd post up the intro to a little writing piece I've been working on. Its still only a draft, I've only gone over it maybe once, but I havent really had anyone read it for me so I'm curious to see what everyone thinks! Its the first idea I've had that I could actually turn into a novel-length story, so I've been getting into it over the past few days.

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15th June 2115, Earth Time

The small cargo ship Ishikara blasted through space, followed closely by a flurry of vivid blue laser-like beams. The freighter desperately manoeuvred to avoid the trail of hostile lasers behind it, its chassis shaking violently under the sheer force of its engine’s excessive output. The freighter was painted a conservative light-grey, a symbol on its starboard side bearing the insignia of the “United Nations of the Americas”. The freighters viewports were as dark as the blackness surrounding it, with all its energy diverted to powering their engines for their desperate escape.

And it was most certainly desperate.

Kurt Nolan stood on the bridge of the Ishikara, his knuckles white as he fiercely gripped the railing in-front of him. Knowing full well the bulky un-ergonomic freighter was being pushed to its limits; he turned to the man in the pilot’s chair.

”Felix, talk to me kiddo!” Nolan yelled, struggling to make himself heard over the thunderous uproar coming from the engine room.

“We’ve got about 30 seconds before we’re a floating c0ckpit!” Felix yelled back, his arms on the verge of dislocating under the force exerted by the flight sticks. “We’ve got to power down or our sub-lights will rip us apart!” Felix frantically tried to manoeuvre the ship whilst flipping buttons on his console, diverting more energy away from the sub-light engines to reduce the strain on the fragile freighter.

Nolan watched through the forward view-screen as streaks of blue laser beams narrowly missed the freighter. “What the hell are those?” Nolan yelled, struggling to maintain his balance against Felix’s frantic attempt at evasion.

The woman sitting at the console next worked feverishly at her console, the glow of energy read-outs illuminating her strikingly sharp features. “It’s some sort of ion beam” Marla Pierce shouted at him, bracing herself as the ship violently lurched forward.

“We’re hit!” Felix screamed, his face contorted in pain as he desperately clung to the flight sticks. “We’re losing power” He yelled, his teeth clenched as alarms rang loudly in the bridge. The ship shook violently one final time then begun drifting aimlessly as pulses of energy resembling lightning flailed wildly along its chassis. The engines shut down and sputtered to life every few seconds, struggling to maintain power.

“We’ve lost RCS thrusters!” Said Marla, as every console in the bridge went dark. Moments later Marla’s terminal powered to life. “Wait a second, someone is trying to hack our frequency”, she said, staring confusedly at the monitor.

Nolan stared at her, equally confused, his heart racing. There was a brief silence. ”Patch them through,” He finally said, stepping down off his observation platform. “I’m going to find out what the f*** just happened.”

He walked over to the pilot console where Felix sat slumped in his chair, breathing heavily, defeated. Nolan gave him a pat on the shoulder and leant over the console, looking back as Marla gave him a reassuring nod.

He opened the communications channel. “This is Captain Kurt Nolan of the UNS Ishikara, identify yourself at once.” He said confidently, the deep-set fear in his eyes revealing the contrary.
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