The OSCARS of the internet!

Cody Giunta · Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 8:31 pm�� Post subject:

Huzzah, finally nominated for the Nintendo Fanboy award, thank you everyone! Next year Jarrod, next year! Oh, and just so you all know, this week you can find a demo on WiiWare for Aya and the Cubes of Light as well as a Snake Eater 3D demo and Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3 on the 3DS eShop

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Jahanzeb · Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 8:37 pm�� Post subject:

^No Rest for the Writer
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Crank · Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 10:13 pm�� Post subject:

Let me get a few things out of the way first.

There will be no jokes about how slow PALGN is, you just need to learn how to plan ahead better. There will be no mention of Roland, negative or otherwise. Except for that one. And lastly, we will humbly ask Jason if he wants to join us for drinks at the after party, but we will keep all the good champagne for ourselves, leave early and not invite him to the club we all go to.

And now, on with the General Forum Awards... which will be presented in two parts... because I'm still writing the second part. Sorry to shatter the illusion.

I hope this first award is received in the spirit in which it is intended. I'll let you all interpret that last sentence as you see fit. No doubt some of you will, regardless of what I say.

In fact, let me distance myself even further from this award by saying it wasn't my idea. I had nothing to do with it. I didn't even write this introduction. What are you accusing me of exactly?

Sorry, it's all gone a bit bughouse in here lately, think I'm starting to get the fear...

This years inaugural Falconpalm Award, for the member whose posts caused the most incongruous disbelief goes to...

FalconDude!

As you can imagine, this was a highly contested category, with the winner emerging victorious by only a single vote. You know what they say, however, an inch is as good as a mile.

Okay, seriously, who named these awards? I can't say this stuff, I have standards. Granted, they are very low, but still, people don't need this kind of mental image thrust into their mind's eye. I do apologise for the for this, really...

The Placenta Award, for the best member to have squeezed through PALGN's narrow hips, out the birth canal, to land in the forums with a moist smack in 2011 is...

StorminNormin!

You couldn't have just called it the Newcomer Award, could you? Oh, god, they have even illustrated it... ew.

In my opinion, photography is an underrated art. A vast amount of technique and knowledge is required to get a good picture. Correct positioning of the camera, lighting conditions and effective composition all play a crucial role in making sure you get the entire performance on film without her seeing the camera. Make sure you cover up that little blinking red light, as that's always a dead giveaway.

What do you mean that's videography? It's basically the same thing, who even cares?

Our next winner always remembers to cover the little red light. Winner of the Best Picture award, for the finest photos taken by PALGN members...

A13x!

Winner of the The Harold Holt Award, for the forum member most likely to have been spirited away by a Japanese midget sub. .. or by a Japanese midget in Subway... or watching Spirited Away on the Japanese subway. Wow, that's some genius level wordplay right there. Somebody dig up Oscar Wilde and bury me in his place, I deserve no less of an honour.

Anyway, the winner is...

Kyle Clarthy!

Wherever you are right now, Kyle, I hope the jokes are less terrible.

Stay tuned for part two, which is sure to delight and enrage, in more or less equal measures...

jprockbelly · Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 10:48 pm�� Post subject:

Jarrod · Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:11 pm�� Post subject:

This thread is fantastic.
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Jahanzeb · Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:13 pm�� Post subject:

Now this is the PALGN I loved

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ThunderCurls · Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:20 pm�� Post subject:

Benza · Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:38 pm�� Post subject:

aww hell no, don't start that shit, this thread is for being positive and happy
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IISpacebreakII · Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:46 pm�� Post subject:

I think Benza means to say

Crank · Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:58 pm�� Post subject:

Announcification!

Due to the fact that everybody seems to be having so much fun with this awards thing, and, more importantly, due to the fact I can no longer stare at a computer screen any longer due to alcohol consumption, part 2 of the general forum awards will air tomorrow.

Plus, I think there is some other award thing that some other people wanted to do or something. Nobody tells me anything, which is okay by me. I like me some plausible deniability.

So, cancel all your plans and tune in tomorrow, when I probably will, almost certainly, eventually reveal the final winners...

Jahanzeb · Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 12:01 am�� Post subject:

awww man I was refreshing this every 10 mins! ha ha
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Karai Pantsu · Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 9:14 am�� Post subject:

My stroll down the red carpet to announce the winner of our next prize was more trepidous than I could ever imagine. As I was getting right into a well proper strut, a shell casing from the earlier firefight caught under my pimp-heel and sent me all a-tumble. As I was righting myself, and collecting scattered gold teeth, I noticed that something was missing: the envelope!

With as much speed as one can muster in 12inch purple heeled boots, I dashed (vigorous strut) outside only to be met with the screeching of tires as a van tore away from the scene.

Who did I see behind the wheel? The bullet-holy (hurr) un-corpse of The Artist Formerly Living As Kanye West! That dastard!

I have assembled a team of the finest Zombie hunters / paparazzi to track him... It down. More news as it happens!
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Jahanzeb · Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 7:33 pm�� Post subject:

Wheeerrrreee arreee theeeeyyyyyy

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Crank · Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 7:54 pm�� Post subject:

Soon, Jahanzeb, soon. Zombie Kanye West doesn't just kill himself, you know.

Okay, I tell you what: how about I announce another couple of awards in the meantime. Undead musicians aren't anything to be too worried about, The Rolling Stones don't seem to bother anybody.

The invisible hand of The Moderator. Ever vigilant and always ready to spring into action. Making the forums safe for ordinary netizens, delivering justice the only way they know how: at the business end of their trusty banhammer.

Who are these heroes, these ones who moderate? They are ordinary men and women, like you and me. They have jobs, families, responsibilities, Narcotics Anonymous meetings to attend, yet still they give up their precious time, doing a tough job for little reward other than glory, so you can post Pokemon memes without fear of retribution.

The following award is brought to you by the Illuminati. The Illuminati: pulling the strings since 1776. Check out the range of merchandise in our online store.

Mod of the year goes to...

Theory!

Our next winner is a real character, which let's be honest, is just a nice way of saying he is a total cunt. Whatever you think of him, you can't deny that he can be a funny cunt. Whether we are laughing with him or at him remains unclear. To be honest, I'm not sure he really cares either way.

Winner of the LULZ King, the one who makes you laughs like no other...

Benza!

As if his sig wasn't ridiculous enough already. God help us all.

And with that, two parts become three... stay tuned for further sporadic coverage of PALGN Awards.

emech · Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 8:26 pm�� Post subject:

Karai Pantsu · Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 9:00 pm�� Post subject:

Update: The hunters remain hot on the tail of Zombie Kanye West (he's covered in sores, ya know)*, but the chase led them to a small house in the North of Melbourne. There doesn't seem to be much here other that boxes... Lots of boxes. I will remain here to hunt for clues while the professionals chase their quarry... Which at this hour is likely to be of a beery nature, down at the local. You just can't find good help these days.

*im so sorry for that, it was a bit dreadful
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Crank · Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 10:54 pm�� Post subject:

Well, it's getting late and I'm sure you all want to know the identity of PALGN's top award winners. While I am tempted to milk this franchise further, I'm all out of ideas for even the most terrible of jokes, something that will quickly become apparent.

So, without further ado, here is Modern Awardfare 3.

I'll be honest, until recently, I don't think I ever fully appreciated just how much hard work went into this site. Unfortunately, some people still don't. Recent events, however, have highlighted the level of commitment shown by all the staff. They kept the news and reviews flowing like cask wine and VB at a bogan wedding. All for little more reward than being able to boast to the ladies that they reviewed video games. Although this is the ultimate aphrodisiac in some circles, it is paltry compensation for the endless hours spent playing rubbish games and trying to think of suitably dreadful puns for the taglines of their reviews.

Winner of the For the Fallen award, for the best staff member in 2011...

Jeremy!

Jeremy, on behalf of myself, the other regular forum members, the irregular forum members, the lurkers, the haters and people who haven't even seen the site and have no idea who you are, I want to say a big Thank You for all your hard work and dedication over the years.

Runners-up in this category were Jahanzeb and Jarrod, in second and third place respectively. No sigs for them, but they do both receive a years supply of smug, self-satisfaction as their prize. Well done, chaps and thanks for everything.

Winning Thread of the Year can really open doors. Simply take a small quantity, attach it to the lock, insert a detonator and connect the timer. It's either that, or ask your ex-girlfriend if she still has your spare set of keys. Sure, the landlord will be pissed, but your ex almost certainly flushed your keys down the toilet, along with your iPod...

Sorry, what were we talking about again? Oh, yeah...

The winner of Thread of the Year, for the best PALGN forum thread started in 2011 is...

PixieGirl!

PixieGirl wins this award for The Screenshots Thread, where PC enthusiasts can gather to jer... share their favourite screenshots and prove conclusively that us console jocks are all wasting our time playing games with ugly, outdated graphics.

User of the Year can mean different things to different people. For example, up until recently, Charlie Sheen was considered User of the Year by most Los Angeles crack dealers. And like Charlie, our next recipient is no stranger to winning, having won numerous awards in the past, starting with the very first PALGN Awards.

Winner of The Big One, for the PALGN forum user of the year is...

Admeister!

Congratulations to all the winners and stay tuned for further developments in the ongoing saga that is the 2011 PALGN Awards.

Jahanzeb · Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 11:09 pm�� Post subject:

Thank you Crank! congrats to everyone!

Honoured to be in the top 3

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admeister · Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 12:51 am�� Post subject:

*casually reading awards thread, scrolls down the page*

*reads the award three times* Wait, wait, wait! Me?! Really? I...I didn't realise that I was this popular! I'm shocked. Thank you so much everyone, this really means a lot to me!

I never expected this, no way. I mean, I knew people voted for me for stuff, but this? The thought never even crossed my mind! Looking all the way back to those first awards, 18 year old me is proud! To think I went from PALGN Spammer to this!

Once again, I'd just like to thank everyone, and say that - more than ever - I'm really proud to be a part of this amazing community. I'll never forget this. I look forward to sharing more good times with all of you in the future!

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"The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty." - Fact Sphere.

Jahanzeb · Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 1:06 am�� Post subject:

So did Zombie Kanye get away?

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Sonic Generations

Jeremy · Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 1:20 am�� Post subject:

theory · Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:20 pm�� Post subject:

Wow, thanks guys!

I wanna give a shout out to all of the PALGN mods ever, especially the ones that have been demoted recently after spending probably more time than usual moderating this forum.

In fact, I'd like to share this award with every other mod, and would love to see the award inserted into all of your sig areas.

Much love, forever, PALGN.
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Karai Pantsu · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 10:10 am�� Post subject:

Benza · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 10:29 am�� Post subject:

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PixieGirl · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 3:41 pm�� Post subject:

I only just realized I had won 3 awards

Thanks so much everyone who voted for me. I'm especially pleased for the Freelance award as I really didn't know people liked reading my little mini-reviews so much.

I'm also really happy the Screenshots thread has become so popular. As for sexiest woman, I still disagree, and as for tying with Charley well she is a sure winner in that regard, but I'm still extremely flattered so thanks again for that too! lol I think its 3 years in a row now?

I think 2011 was the year I really made a kind of mark on the community in some way

Hopefully that can continue with a new forum whatever it may be.

Its really sad to see this place steering towards an ending... Its actually the only place I regularly go on the internet and the only internet community I belong to. Being a kind of non-nerd (aside from gaming itself) I don't really hang around in gamer circles in real life and I don't really have anyone to talk to about gaming so it was really great I could find some place to be able to express this interest of mine which other people can understand and relate to.

I also like to think I've grown since joining here, looking back at my old posts I cringe even though its only been a few years I've totally matured as a person at least in the way I've learned to express myself on the internet, perhaps not so much in real life. But PALGN definitely played a part in that.

I love you all ;DD group hug.
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