The OSCARS of the internet!

[jprockbelly]

Like the Pheonix rising from the ashes of anarchy, today it is my pleasure to announce the commencement of the 2011 PALGN Awards 2-day extravaganza!

For the last week a select panel of handpicked users have slaved to bring you this prestigious ceremony. And what a line up we have for you! There will be jokes, tears, sigs, speeches, celebrity presenters and no doubt Gooberman will drop by for some trolling. I’m expecting it will be fun, fun, fun for all. Why 2-day you ask? It’s so we can build more excitement (read: sell advertising) in between But actually half the awards will be announced today, and the other half tomorrow as soon a Crank gets back from his spoken word tour of Sweden.

Unfortunately I have to add a serious note here. If you feel like posting about recent development in palgn management, please do not do it here! There are about 20 active threads where you can complain till your heart is content. This thread is about PALGN users. In an attempt to extend the olive branch of peace (and I realise a lot of you will hate me for this), I have even invited site owner Roland to stop by and tell us a bit about himself and his plans for the site. At the time of writing I haven’t received a response but if he does accept please be civil.

I sincerely hope you enjoy he awards and look forward to reading all your comments
Cheers
John

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Before we start the awards proper we have the so called PALGN non-awards. These are the categories that were not originally listed but which people voted for anyway.

So without further ado…. The non-awards

The best Jibbs Award
This award goes to none other than…. Infected Jibbs.
Despite not posting for several years, Jibbs (apparently) still holds a place in someone’s heart. Well done Mr Jibbs

THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT
This award goes to the person who edits their posts the most after initial submission. I think there would have been a strong showing in this field had it been publically announced. None the less the winner, with 100% of the vote is …. Emechs who is apparently very indecisive.

Most epic purchase
There are no surprises here seyismyname takes it our again…. Not sure if there was a particular purchase here, perhaps someone who keeps an eye on the Newest Purchas thread can fill us in on what Sey has been buying recently.

Can I Spoon You?
A new award, which is awarded to the user who is always guaranteed to plus posts from another member. And the very first winner of the award is …..A13x for a dedicated and continued effort to spoon Denny.

The last 2 non-awards were announced in the forums and as such received more than a little attention. So much so that I even have Sigs for them. By the way a big thanks to Esposch for providing sigs this year. Whether you love them or hate them, I think they are a great reflection of his contribution to PALGN: always willing to help, but never giving you quite what you asked for…. Oh well, on with the awards

GFX KING
A popular category which was over looked this year, I can easily say that this award received the most votes of all the non-awards. Clearly people around here do love their av/sig combinations. This year, despite Theory directly requesting that people do not, most people voted for…..Admeister

Congrats Ads, here is your new sig:



Last but definitely not least in the non-awards we have..

The best Benno Award
Wow, what can I say about this award. It immortalises the one and only Benno. That guy who is always bringing the love and the lols. The inaugural Best Benno winner, winning by a landslide, is KARAI PANTSU!

Another Esposch classic:


That’s it from me
Next up (some time today) is Fetidchimp to present the first set of real awards

[GooberMan]

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[theory]

Haha I love it. Thanks for your work, jp. I got your back, bro. Any posts which don't have to do with the awards will be removed.

Esposch, I really like the prize banners. Thanks for your help, they look hilariously great.

Fetidchimp and Crank, and whoever else is helping with the writing, thanks to you guys too.

Let's prove with this thread that we can be civil and how much we love each other and ourselves. Stroke stroke stroke.

Congratulations to all winners!
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[Fetidchimp]

Ladies, Gentlemen...Bruces.
I gives me great honour to present the personality awards at the 6th annual palgn awards.
As we saw earlier on the red carpet, it's a veritable galaxy of stars out here, and apart from the earlier incident involving
a bit of a nipple slip from theory and a less than exotic entrance from jprockbelly, who made a complete mockery of the twirl entrance, i think we are good to go.

Being part of the stinking rotting core of palgn for almost 5 years now, i have witnessed a great many instances of our great community coming together, generally in flashback form...
I remember through a vaseline covered lens the time that we all went to my fathers work barbeque and i went kayaking with punky brewster...or the time that paul was mistaken for marilyn manson.
Through all these times, a great many things have brought us together, games, alcohol, boobs, wanting to ro sham bo benza...mainly boobs though, and i look back at all these things
and think what the fuck is wrong with you people, don't you have families that love you, for the love of god, go outside.
And for all the first world problems that have nearly destroyed us, there are a great many things that keep us together, mainly ticky tacky.
These awards have always been a source of great inspiration to me, even though i have never won any of them because you are all scum,
I have always aspired to be just like you, a commoner, but a commoner with a high gamerscore and a palgn award to tuck under my belt...and although i don't yet have that elusive award,
I still call you people my friends, but i also call you all arseholes under my breath.

And without further ado...THE AWARDS


First up we have the Jarrod Has Aides award for the most inspiring gym story...
and the award goes to...Sithsylar!


I am sure a great many of you have gym stories, but i can attest personally that mr sylar here has lost a crapload of weight since i have first started talking to him, 46 kg in fact
And a special mention should go to island wolf who missed out by a whisker on taking this illustrious sig home with her today.

Next up it's best old fart, ruler of the universe and bow to my goddamn authority under pain of death award...
The Really Mature award...
which goes to.........ME, YES, YES, FUCK YOU ALL, you like me, you really like me. Bow before your god!


ahem

Moving right along, one of the more hottly contested awards today, the fuck you're ugly award for the person who most resembles their avatar.
pfft hottly contested indeed, who wrote this shit....BENZA!! (which should be renamed the john lovitz award for looking like john lovitz)


Well this award was not hottly contested and probably won in a landslide.
The **** **** **** award for swearing to infinity and beyond...well shit i wonder who the fuck won this...BENZA!!




The Mick Saige award for being Mick Saige goes to Mick Saige...but he was given a run for his money by Jarrod, who by all reports was training hard for this one by consuming dandruff flakes off micks pillow
in a vain attempt to actually become Mick Saige, the experiment was a disaster for all concerned and Jarrod is getting the third arm on his back removed next week. The beard won't come off though.


Oh here we go, palgns most sexual award...and of course this one goes to my right hand.
Alright, it goes to pixiegirl and charly who were deadlocked at the end.



Denny gets some sort of mention here but as i told him last time, i just doesn't fit in there.


The BooHooHoo award for the person who complained the most about the game exchange being shut down...another closely fought award with parties from both camps whining well into the night, but there is only one winner here and that is Dimefan90 but with a special mention to cyph for also being a whiny girly skirt.


Adn the fnial arwad that i am presnting today, the engrish teacher award for butchering the english language....
I bet no one can guess this one...it's Mikezilla2! because one was never enough.


And that is all from me here today, the lovely and strangely seductive MrCool is up next, so ripen those tomatoes, start masturbating furiously and start chanting stinking rotting core!

Enjoy your sigs because it cost us 1 trillion zimbabwean dollars for them



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kill, kill, kill.....the white man. Kill the white man, kill

[sithsylar]

Thanks for the votes everyone, and cheers for everyone who is involved in the awards .
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[Cyph]

[Benza]

These sigs are fucking amazing. I will cherish them always.
Thanks to everyone that voted and... called me a foul mouthed ugly fucker.

Wait... damm.

[edit]Also can I just say how much I appreciate the fact that both my award banners have swearing censor stars in them. That's just... too neato for words.
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[Esposch]

Hi there. Just to clear things up, all credit for the art for the GFX king (and another, not yet revealed award) banner goes to "Wabakiley."

Also, who won Best Benno?
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[Fetidchimp]

It's written there
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kill, kill, kill.....the white man. Kill the white man, kill

[Esposch]

"Love and lols"... So Karai?
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[Benza]

Also gotta say, Denny was a much deserved most sexy guy award.
I've been reasonably assured that this ironman intro was based on Denny building his computer.

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[emech]

No sig? Hang on...wait... that should be no signature... better clarify, no signature image. Yeah that's it. Thank goodness I edited alot or I might have been in the running for the engrish award (which is proberbly the main reason I edit) - wait... is it? Damn, that might actually be defamatory. Damn......
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[Jedi_Amara]

Just think, these are probably the last PALGN awards ever - the winners will go down in history!
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Games I'm after | Play-Asia link
MY PSP IS NOT PINK! - now with added blog

[Karai Pantsu]

I am humbled, honoured, and at least a little ashamed for this...

<3 <3
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[jprockbelly]

[sithsylar]

^^^^ bahahahah that really made me laugh out loud.
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[Jahanzeb]

Is that you Jp? :O

If I had known better, my most sexual male vote would have gone to you
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Now Playing:
Sonic Generations

[Fetidchimp]

it's benno
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kill, kill, kill.....the white man. Kill the white man, kill

[jprockbelly]

[Benno]

[admeister]

Finally, the GFX award is mine!



Thanks to everyone who voted for me, I shall wear my sig with pride!
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"The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty." - Fact Sphere.

[sithsylar]

^^^^^^^^^^^^

You deserve it bro!
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[Benza]

[Jarrod]

Goddamnit.
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[mrcool37]

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! The Oscars have been compromised, I repeat, the Oscars have been compromised. This is Mrcool reporting from the red carpet with this breaking news story.

With his tirade from the Grammys a couple of years ago still fresh in everyone's mind, Kanye West has stormed this year's Oscars ceremony along with his entourage of bodyguards, claiming he should be the winner of every award this year, even sexiest woman! To ensure the integrity of these awards are maintained, a massive gunfight has erupted between his bodyguards and our esteemed panel of judges to protect our coveted awards!

With the expert fragging ability of our judges, the gunfight is expected to slowly dissolve in the next 18-24 hours, so check back here tomorrow as the Oscars ceremony continues with both the third and final segment of awards!