Movies (Rules on First Page)

El Taco · Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 2:38 am�� Post subject:

Just watched Catch .44. What a piece of ****.

One of the worst movies I've seen in ages. I'd put it in my Top 20 worst films I've ever seen, I'm mad that I bought it.

Grrrrrrr.....Let me list the reasons why I hated it...

1. Nothing in the film is ever explained.

The film wants to think there is a deeper plot which can be explained through multiple flashbacks and character perspectives, but the plot is so bad and the twist doesn't even warrant a mention. Certain character points are created for no reason, plots are started and no finished and alot of things are mentioned but forgotten.

2. Aaron Harvey (director/screenwriter) is NOT Quentin Taratino, so stop trying so desperately to be him, because you are failing.

I know it's easy to call something a Tarantino rip-off, but this is the definition of a Tarantino rip-off. EVERYTHING about this film so desperately wants to be Pulp Fiction, even to the point of repeating character traits, settings and dialogue. The film opens with the most obnoxious conversation I've ever witnessed on screen. 3 women are seen sitting at a table, to establish to the audience that they are "hip/smart" women, they are seen having a conversation dissecting a saying (I cant remember what it was) but it's a conversation no normal person would have. The other thing is that it's not interesting or stylish in anyway, it's just annoyingly pretentious.

3. Wasted talent.

Bruce Willis, Forest Whittaker and Shea Wigham have been in far better things. They just sucked in this. And everyone else was just worse (Malin Akerman is one of the worst parts of this film, why did they make her the protagonist).

Forest Whittaker's character is so underdeveloped and unexplained that his good acting is wasted on pointless dialogue.

4. One of the most idiotic/illogical endings I've seen ever.

I won't spoil it, but the ending doesn't work. At all. I'm putting it in my Top 5 worst endings ever put to screen. I yelled at my TV at how much I hated the ending.

5. Cheesy editing.

Think of a mix between Feast and Death Proof (not the most iconic films but that's all I can think of right now). The film keeps jumping back and forth between a certain timeline, for no real significance and no sense of order. It works for films like Reservoir Dogs and 500 Days of Summer as they allow plot twists and certain events to be revealed at points in the film where they seem significance, where as in this film the non-linear editing felt thrown in to add to the Tarantino rip-off.

Oh well, time for Downton Abbey to calm me down.
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R.I.P Tanya

Nietzsche · Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 10:15 am�� Post subject:

Watched American Psycho. So good although I mostly took it as satire. Finally found a scene that played as a kid on every single video tape that represented R rated movies.

Also in response to last pages image against me, I really liked Captain Haddock, but like the rest of the movie his not exactly that deep and he is still a raging alcoholic at the end.

DancesInUnderwear · Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 1:21 am�� Post subject:

I saw The Muppets at the moonlight cinema yesterday. As someone who has always enjoyed the Muppets without ever being super duper into it, I really enjoyed the movie. It was just enjoyable all around, starting with the Toy Story short (didn't realise that was going to be there) and then the whole way through the movie. Muppet or a Man was my highlight, it felt exactly like a Flight of the Conchords song and the associated cameo was probably the most fun one of the lot. Good stuff.
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Frozencry · Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 1:50 am�� Post subject:

Saw Tin Tin tonight.

Mannn that movie made me laugh so fucking hard in some areas. Loved everything about it (ESPECIALLY Haddock, guy was a fucking crack up), and it thoroughly depressed my inner 3D artist looking at the lighting. Fuck their lighting work, it's ridiculous.

Would def watch again, incredibly fun ride and definitely brings back a lot of memories watching Tin Tin on TV as a kid.
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THEMAN · Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 3:08 am�� Post subject:

saw towerheist today after watching delirious (ed murphy) on NYE, very ordinary.

4 of us walked out. consensus. eh.
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Benza · Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 8:57 am�� Post subject:

Benza · Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 10:57 am�� Post subject:

Two movies
first is
cursed
A werewolf movie that is kind of full of constant "Hey is that!?"
We've got the guy from zombieland and chrstinia ricci as the two main players. Lex Luthor from smallville as Christina Ricci's boss, Peter Patrelli from heroes as the school bully for zombieland dude, Pacey from Dawsons Creek as Christina Ricci's boyfriend, the foreign exchange student from American Pie as Zombieland dudes crush, and Portia DeRossi as a random psychic chick. Pretty typical werewolf stuff, kids get bitten, turn into werewolves, lose their shit get vampire powers of seduction for some reason, also werewolves have no tails so they look weird. Couple of good kills but pretty average over all, man what happend to you wes craven? Still enjoyable though.

Mutant Girl Squad
So stop me if you've heard this one before. During their teenage years kids are discovering that they're mutants with superpowers developing int a world that hates and fears them, there is a mutant leader of an underground resistance movement who see themselves as a superior race trying to wipe out humanit.
So basically it's X-men run through a 'japan' filter. And by 'japan' filter I mean we have super powers such as katanas coming out of tits, and chainsaws comming out of your arse. Also for no explained reason everyone is dressed in fetish outfits (Sword Tits is a french maid, Chainsaw arse is a cheerleader, main chick is a school girl, octapuss chick is a nurse etc) Also there's a chick/dude that bleeds jet engines that is also a hommage to astro boy who shoots jet powerd blood feet and legs at people by chopping them off with a stanley knife who then gets ridden around by the octapuss nurse while they fight a kabuki dude and his dick stomach sword in a giant flesh robot with boobs for ear muffs that shoot acid milk and....

this movie was weird you guys.

like... really weird. I think it's probbably my number 2 pic for japanese splatter gore so far with only Tokyo Gore Police really beating it for sheer batshit insanity.
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Macka · Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 7:25 pm�� Post subject:

Tower Heist

I saw this with some mates the other day too. I wasn't expecting much, but as THEMAN said, it's pretty bad. I think I might have laughed a whole two times during the movie and even then they were cringe worthy jokes at best. The story was also an absolute nonsensical mess. Avoid it.

5/10
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kartanym · Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 12:46 am�� Post subject:

Finally caught Tintin today. Some of the action sequences were crazy, just like an animated movie should be, realistic or no. I really enjoyed it, and Snowy stole the show just as I knew he would. Highly recommended, and the 3D was impressive.

killjoy83 · Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 2:22 pm�� Post subject:

I don't remember seeing the trailer posted on these forums before, but apologies if it already has. This trailer has been out for a short while now, but it's the first one for Chronicle, a 'found footage' style movie about three guys who discover something underground that gives them super powers. Eventually one of them goes on a power trip.

And here's a short clip from the movie, "Andrew vs. Spider" that was just released. The movie is coming out here next month, i think.

THEMAN · Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 4:41 pm�� Post subject:

yeah saw the trailer for chronicle and thought it was dope. there's also another movie I wanted to watch... but I cant' remeber just what it is.

battleship looks totally stupid but i can't wait for it.
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Pagan's Mind · Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 12:45 am�� Post subject:

Crows Zero 1 and 2

I thoroughly enjoyed these. The fights scenes were done very well, had awesome music and good character development. The second movie was a bit better than the first due to the epic fight at the end and less focus on the Yakuza elements. 8/10 for both movies.

Benza · Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 12:07 am�� Post subject:

Cowboys and Alliens
FUCK YOU YOU STUPID FUCKING MOVIE!

The cowboy bits, I'm watching like "Hell yeah cowboys!" then the aliens come into it and the movie suddenly has a fucking aneurysm or something.

Firstly spoilers but don't worry this movie is monumentally stupid so you're not missing anything.

Gold? Are you fucking serious? That's your big plan? Hey why don't you try picking ONE OF THE NON INHABITED ASTEROIDS OR PLANETS FULL OF THE SHIT!? Are you fucking shitting me!? They're here to steal our fucking gold?! And the 20 coins that James Bond had was worth fuckign chasing down?

I thought you were a fucking scouting party? Why the hell are you kdinapping and hypnotising people? What fucking purpose does that serve?

But man, that's not even my main beef with the movie. My main beef is WHY DONT YOU TRY USING THE FUCKING GUNS YOU HAVE WHILE FIGHTING A GUY WITH A BOW AND FUCKING ARROW!?! Seriously did a single alien actually shoot in this movie? All they seem to do is run up and tackle people? This is a race of creatures that perfected intersteller flight who take fucking stratagey lessons from the 28 Days later zombies?!

There's a scene where james bond has to defend a tunnel from the oncomming rush of aliens. Wich you know, would be a challenge with the hundreds of aliens all armed with wrist blasters like him leading to a tense stand off.... but no, They just fucking swarm into the oncoming blaster fire.

This goes on for like A MINUTE AND A HALF!? Ok the first one runs around the corner and gets caught by surprise. Yeah that's beleivable, THE THIRTY FUCKING ALIENS THAT ALL FOLLOW JUMPING OVER THE DEAD BODIES OF THEIR COMRADES ?! What the fuck? Hey how about... fuck I don't know hold back a bit and take cover?

Like, imagine watching a war movie, and there's that scene that's in all war movies where the guys have to move from one point of cover to the next, and the first guy runs out and gets gunned down. Then every other soldier just keeps running into the gunfire without pausing to go "Oh shit gun"

Seriously?

Man fuck you John Fravou, you just blew all that awesome cred you earned from Ironman.
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Soap of Death · Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2012 2:10 am�� Post subject:

Got around to seeing Drive today and I loved it. The whole movie was a real treat to watch. I want my own white scorpion jacket now.
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Benza · Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2012 8:59 am�� Post subject:

Born To Fight (Thai action movie, not Steve Austen Direct to DVD)
Wow this movie is all over the fucking place.
Starts off as kind of a gritty cop drama thing, with a big dramatic chase on these two big rigs that I swear must have killed like 3 stuntmen doing it. The shit they get away with putting people through in these movies amazes me. We have people being thrown off then top of moving trucks bouncing off vans missing getting there heads crushed under tyres by cm's. It's fucking insane. Then after that cops partner dies, he swears revenge typical cop drama stuff then cop goes home with his.... sister/girlfriend/daughter (It's never explained) and she's been invited to go to a tai kwan do tournament.

And I'm thinking "Awesome this is going to be rad martial arts"

So the next 15 minutes are spent with a group of sportspeople (Not Tai Kwan Do people) doing charity at a small village. We've got soccer players, gymnasts, rugby players etc.... So I don't know what actually happend to this Tai Kwan Do tournie cause it's never mentioned again and there's only one tai kwan do fighter in the group.

So it does kind of the "Look how peacefull village life is in thailand" scene that is always in every one of these movies then
BAM!
ULTRA VIOLENT REBEL MILITARY COUP!
Seriously this shit just comes out of fucking no where. It's setting up some drama between a guy in the village and the cop who was travelling along with his sister, the village guys girlfriend is being all friendly to cop. So the village guy is talking to his friends about how they're going to mess the cop up and suddenly one of the village guys friends catches a bullet with his neck and suddenly theirs this rebel military force massacring the village. We see people getting there arms exploded, parents murdered while their kids are forced to watch. This shit gets really dark really fast. And the next 20 minutes of the movie are this tense violent and brutal millitary coup where the soldiers hold the village hostage to the government, people are getting executed left and right.

So then... the movie turns into a... well the only way I can describe it is an like a corny teen action/commedy. The kind where everyones set up as having a skill set at the beginning, then they all work together using there skill sets to fight back against the bad guys. We have the soccer player kicking a ball into a sniper, the rugby dude tackling people through walls, the gymnist fighting two guys while walking on that balance bar thing. It's these really corny action sequences that seem like they should be in this uplifiting teen movie that shows everyones special in their own way. Except in the background we keep seeing the soldiers fighting back against the villages without special skills, and the soldiers have machine guns. So it'll cut from a scene of women running and hiding and getting gunned down to some guy beating up a soldier with pommel horse routine.

It's fucking surreal.

Then it ends with a typical violent martial arts sequence of the cop kicking the shit out of a small army.

So uh... it was an interesting movie....

One thing though, it has a fight scene involving a one legged dude on crutches.

This mother fucker needs to be in every fucking martial arts movie
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GooberMan · Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:45 am�� Post subject:

Slightly related to the last point, but I need to get a copy of The Crippled Masters.
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Benza · Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2012 10:41 am�� Post subject:

oh shit is t hat the one where they tie themselves together to combine there skills and form... a regular person.
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GooberMan · Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2012 10:48 am�� Post subject:

No idea, haven't seen it, but it sounds plausible.
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mrcool37 · Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2012 5:44 pm�� Post subject:

I've been getting heavily into movies in the recent couple of months. I've probably watched more new movies in the last 2 months than I have in the past 3 years. Quick rundown of what I have watched:

In time
A ridiculously awesome idea marred, as usual, by soppy romance. Do not want romance in sci-fi movies please. Most people (like Theory) moan at the mention of Justin Timberlake, but I wasn't at all phased that he was in it as I didn't mind him in The Social Network and thought he'd be able to pull it off. After watching it, I realised that I couldn't have been more wrong if I tried. He was truly terrible and brought the movie down. 6.5/10 based on some pretty awesome ideology, but poor execution with all the romance and JT ruined alot of it for me.

The Adjustment Bureau Thoughts can be pretty much copy/pasted from my review on In Time above. Way too much romance here, alot of it unbelievable based on their chemistry when the two characters first meet. But once again, there were some awesome ideas in there.

Warrior
I honestly think this is one of the best films ever within the genre, completely took me by surprise.............

*Gotta duck out, i'll edit this post with more movies wieh I get back

theory · Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2012 5:50 pm�� Post subject:

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Big Pete · Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 9:30 pm�� Post subject:

Hobo With A Shotgun

Kind of self explanatory. If you've seen the trailer you know what to expect. The only thing I can really comment on is the ridiculous use of filters. I think filters have a place but in a movie like Hobo I just found them too distracting. The campy villains were the highlights for me as well as the ending.

Kind of tired of these 'We're laughing with you' B movies and just wish they would focus more on putting on the best show they can.
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emech · Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 7:36 pm�� Post subject:

The Guard

Had no expectations - another cop odd-couple film, ok? Ended up quite enjoying it. Sure it has drug busts and a boat on fire, but at its heart its a reminder that life is no more complicated than what we make it and its not another hollywood production. While the belly laughs were few, I was smiling 90% of the time. Worth the rent for a lazy sunday.
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Pagan's Mind · Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 6:51 pm�� Post subject:

Drive

Watched it again. God I love this movie. I love the style, the violence, the killer soundtrack and it even has the awesome Ron Pearlman. I haven't seen any other films by Nicolas Winding Refn, can you guys recommend any?

Benza · Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 8:03 pm�� Post subject:

I've heard nothing but good things about Bronson Pagans, I vaugley remember hearing good things about Valhalla Rising too, but don't hold me to that.
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THEMAN · Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 11:43 pm�� Post subject:

The Darkest Hour.

um, yeah. 5.5/10

the aussie chick is MEGA annoying.
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