Socialising: Online vs AFK

Jedi_Amara · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 5:32 am�� Post subject:

I used to socialise a lot more online, since in school I was both something of an outcast and somewhat overprotected by my parents - I was rarely allowed to go out with my few friends/to their houses - and it was a lot easier to find people who shared my interests online. I was also far too invested in certain Pokemon forums

and at the time I was actively maintaining websites in a couple of fandoms and that also added to the amount of time I spent in online interaction.

When I started uni I gained a lot of freedom, there were a lot more people to befriend and hang out with and I found myself growing to like offline social activity. I now have a couple of regular things where I catch up with some friends every week or couple of weeks, but I find the drawback to that is that it's really hard to catch up with everyone offline, whereas you can update a Facebook status or carry on an email conversation and keep in touch easily online. At this point I probably prefer meeting people IRL but it's also a lot more tiring than sitting in front of a computer

I think there is definitely still something to be said for online social activity - a couple of my friends have pretty bad anxiety issues and while I do coax them into the sunlight occasionally, it's much easier to keep in touch online

Plus you can make some really great friends online - I recently spent a week in Minnesota with someone I've considered my bff for 7 years but hadn't met previously, and even after meeting him we're still best friends

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shinhawk · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 8:03 am�� Post subject:

Gtpod · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 10:29 am�� Post subject:

This is quite an astounding topic. I mean there's no doubt you can make some great friends online, who you can become close with and talk to daily, but it's absolutely incomparable to having people who actually love you IRL. You open the door to a room full of close friends and see their faces light up at your mere presence, you feel the energy of other people just excited to see you... nothing can ever substitute that.
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sobriquet835 · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 11:52 am�� Post subject:

PixieGirl · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 12:48 pm�� Post subject:

If it makes you happy having most of your contact online then good for you, but I think you might be kidding yourselves...

Its just too limited with how you can interact and what things you can do. Real life interaction is better in absolutely every way.

Soap of Death · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 12:51 pm�� Post subject:

Online interaction is more convenient for me but all the best times I've had were actually engaging face to face with people. You can have a good time chatting to someone online, you just can't have a great time.
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Karai Pantsu · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 12:59 pm�� Post subject:

*ahem*

This not a matter of absolutes - one isn't always better than the other.

Personally, I try to maintain a good balance of both. Sometimes I really need to just chill in my own space for a while to deal with my own shit and make sure that I'm operating with my own drives. Sometimes I just want to go out and lose myself in friends and frenzy, share energies and connect with those I hold dear. And sometimes the quiet night with select company is what's for dinner.

The important part is not to get stuck too firmly into the one situation, that simply leads to stagnation.
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XtremeXfactor · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 1:40 pm�� Post subject:

I am one who is shy, i can enjoy my own company - love having time to myself away from the craziness i usually have to put up with (be it work, family or other) without becoming a weirdo!. I am quite social, sometimes it might take a bit of extra poking and prodding though.

I do find it harder to hang out with friends, imore to the point that the LARGE circle of friends i once had, has become smaller and smaller as the years go by. This is mainly because everyone has moved on to other things (be it other circles of friends, having a young family themselves now and not being able to hang out as often... other than b'days and christmas parties etc)

I find it a lot easier to communicate online than in person, on the internet it is easier to talk with people you can relate to on a subject matter (eg: video games) than it is out in public. In real life it takes a lot longer to find common ground with people i have met for only the first time. Although i usually win them over with my charm and wit

I do ponder if the internet has played too much of a role in this, i have noticed a lot of txt/internet/msn style chatter leak out of peoples mouths. It's quite sad seeing the dumbing down of conversation in real life, much like on a computer.

** In saying that i can somewhat see the writing on the wall for myself if i don't straighten up in other areas. I'll be having Grandpa Simpson "in my dayyyyyyyyyyyyy" style conversations with a check out operator and i'm still young

ZeroX03 · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 1:59 pm�� Post subject:

Offline>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Online in ALL regards, especially fighting games.
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Aussie XP · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 2:13 pm�� Post subject:

Through high school I would definitely take online. I was heavy into MMO's and had a lot of "friends" I'd play with regularly. I only saw my school mates during the holidays or the occasional party. Otherwise most of them I would play online with anyway.

These days, with Uni and work, I don't play MMO's at all (haven't since the HSC, 3 years ago). And all of my friends are busy with their own things, so the only way to catch-up is either hang out at someones house with pizza, beers, xbox's, or to go out to a pub. I hate clubs immensely, maybe its because I'm not single anymore, but I just see the whole thing as a ridiculously expensive room where a beer costs $8, you can't talk to anyone because the music is too loud, so all you can do is dance or spend more money. I always opt for a good old pub, or a free bar.

But, I am still fairly anti-social IRL I think. I haven't made as many new friends at Uni as other people, instead staying close with my old school mates.
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Frozencry · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 2:14 pm�� Post subject:

Karai and GTPod are the only posts I've read which are entirely reasonable, well put and not condescending and ridiculous unlike many others.

I live a pretty balanced life in social interaction. Sometimes I want to be asocial and isolate myself because I'm tired from the social aspect and just want me time. Other times, I like to socialise. Most weekends I go out with my girlfriend and other friends, and usually on weekdays I study and do my own thing, and interact a lot with online friends.

Am I depressed because a lot of my time is spent online? NOPE. Have I been depressed? Yes, but only if I get to an extreme point, in which I make a note to change something and go out with friends. Balance is the key behind it; these things can live in unity. Whether or not you prefer one over the other though is entirely subjective and it's amazing how many people act like superior arseholes instead of realising that some people are simply not as social as others.

Humans are social creatures naturally, but it is entirely unreasonable to expect every single human to be a social butterfly just like you.
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Aussie XP · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 2:37 pm�� Post subject:

Esposch · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 2:40 pm�� Post subject:

Puddingfork · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 3:03 pm�� Post subject:

shinhawk · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 5:09 pm�� Post subject:

Jarrod · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 5:24 pm�� Post subject:

'Offline' socialising wont matter in the end when we're all nothing more than a hive mind of electronic signals bouncing through servers and terminals.

All glory to the machine race.
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A13x · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 5:26 pm�� Post subject:

Ramblerun · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 5:44 pm�� Post subject:

I am horrible at both, and do very little of either compared to everyone else I know.

Being around people or socialising really drains my energy and being by myself energizes me.

EDIT: In person is generally much better though.
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Till@ · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 5:49 pm�� Post subject:

None of the good times with mates that I hold dear ever happened online. I mean yeah you can play games together online I guess, but what do you actually do? you can't go anywhere or do actual things (and no, drinking and clubbing and pubs aren't the only things people do offline) I think a lot of people seem selfish and picky to be honest. It seems like if someone isn't talking about exactly the things you like or do they aren't worth talking to, if you only socialize with people just like you you're probably boring as all hell.

Don't get me wrong, online interaction has it's place, but if there is something going on in my actual life the laptop gets closed every single time.

Also, maybe other people might be more interested in you and thus be able to be better friends with you if the only this you do wasn't sit in front of a computer all day. No one gives a s*** about something that happened online. Every time I see my brother all he talks about is WoW and Reddit. No. One. Gives. A. S***.

/rage
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Puddingfork · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 6:31 pm�� Post subject:

^I think you've misinterpreted my posts (if it's me your talking to). I'm not some socially retarded person that sits on my computer all day because I can't socialise offline. I've even said, I do go out and catch up with mates on a semi-regular basis, I find it easy to get along with people and even work in a job that requires a certain level of social ability. It's just that I observed that often I rather be on Ventrilo than out at the local club and thought I might make a thread out of it for some lulz.

Also no, I'll happily talk to people with different interests to me and I can actually find them more interesting, in fact all my best friends in Brisbane I was talking about have almost completely different interests to me. What I like about them is that they're smart interesting people who share similar views, values, morals, etc.

A lot of these posts I find very amusing though and to me are pretty much saying "HOW DARE YOU ENJOY THAT YOU NEED HELP BECAUSE IT WOULD MAKE ME DEPRESSED!" when really that's just an obviously flawed thing to think/say.

And on the topic of cost, ok, so it doesn't cost you all a lot of money, but for me it does. Where I live public transport doesn't exist after 10pm and so cabs are the only option home (Costs about $20-25) after a night out at a boring club that charges up to $20 for entry and $7 for basics, so for a single night out I'm looking at up to $40 minimum to be sober at a club, that alone is the most I will pay for any game these days. If I want to actually have fun I'm looking at the cost of traveling to Brisbane (~$40 fuel) plus any other costs on top of that. Hence why I prefer to go to Brisbane about once a month and mostly avoid going out locally.
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Jarrod · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 6:36 pm�� Post subject:

To be fair, I'd rather paint the walls with my brains than go out to a club too.

A pint and parma at a nice pub is a different story.
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sobriquet835 · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 8:03 pm�� Post subject:

Pudding, gotta say, it looks like you were referring to my earlier post there, and I'd like to point out that I said not being social offline made me depressed, no ifs about it. It's not a case of "lololol u might b depresed if u dnt leave the house lololol" it's more that during the times where I hang out online at various forums because people IRL are pissing me off, or I have nowhere to go, I always feel terrible that I'm not leaving the house(especially if this occurs for extended periods of time). That leads me to feel depressed. Hell, for a while there I was in such a bad state that even chatting to customers in my shitty customer service job made me feel a lot better.

My personal experience in this matter has me thoroughly convinced that just about everyone is better off socializing offline. I hate clubs, like most of you, but that just means I prefer to go to a pub/bar and just chat, or go to a movie. Much better than sitting on my ass, glaring at Facebook for hours on end.

Edit edit: as far as cost, why not just invite a couple mates around and play some halo or Mario kart? Hardly costs you anything, and it's still better than Facebook.

Edit: social media is good for organizing things, or keeping in touch with people on the other side of the world, but nothing beats hanging out with a couple of really close friends.

A13x · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 8:26 pm�� Post subject:

Not big on Facebook either, it's too mainstream.

Much prefer real time voice chat.
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Jedi_Amara · Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 8:29 pm�� Post subject:

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