Anxiety..

[Zaul]

Just curious on everyones Opinion.

I've seen several doctors, specialists, ect I'm not crazy, but perhaps too cautious.

I've been in good health all my life, 1 year ago while playing WoW ( dont hate me ) I got a leg cramp.
Went to the Doctor after it didn't go away, he told me to get it scanned, I didn't.
3 Days later I was sitting at my computer and I couldn't breath, everytime I coughed, sneezed, laughed, did anything that involved a sudden burst of air I was in Agony in my upper back and chest.
I was raced to hospital and told I had several blood clots in my lungs, had the smallest one of moved into my heart or brain it would of caused a massive heart attack , stroke and probably death.
( Look up Pulmonary Embolism, Its the highest killer of people under 25 )

Anyways I had to have blood thinners for 3 months, and was told no more sitting for more than an hour without stretching, walking ect.

So I got better, Saved up, went to Canada, Fell in love with a Girl, then got very sick again, this time a heart attack, but in the wrong side of the chest..
Turns out it was my gallbladder, it had ruptured and required surgery.

Being in Canada with no health insurance and losing thousands just to see a doctor for 5 mins and getting a stomach relaxer I was flown home on a 14 hour flight in agony, throwing up, and went straight from sydney to nepean hospital for emergency surgery.

So I had to deal with that, irritable bowel afterwards, the ability to never eat pizza or mcdonalds again, or anything fatty blah blah blah

So I thought I was all clear, but I still had leg cramps, chest pain, gallbladder pain ( phantom pains ).

Then sadly earlier this year just as I was about to go back to Canada I suffered an injury from a bad chiropractor. ( there are alot of good Chiros btw, I just had bad luck, so please dont stop going to see them, for the record junkinthebox is brilliant, he helped me and for free after a bad experience with a diff chiro so cheers for Junk! )
Anyways so I had to deal with sciatica, the whole ' oh you can never lift weights again, dont bend over touch your toes, ect '.

So here I am 23, Cant eat Pizza, Cant eat Mc Donalds, Cant touch my toes without shooting pains, Cant lift weights, not allowed to jog, blah blah blah.

So anyways after a few weeks of aches and pains and not getting better I finally said ' you know what, screw this, I am healthy and although ive had bad luck I can still live a normal life '.

So I started Jogging again, amazingly it didnt hurt.
I lifted weights again, no back problems.

This is all looking very promising.

However I'm suffering with Anxiety now.

I dont know if I'm scared, or being overly cautious, but Im terrified to do anything anymore that might hurt me, whether it be game, jog, or stand still.

This isnt a healthy behavior, and like all challenges in life its going to be something I'm going to have to break, but sometimes the anxiety is so bad I get short of breath, feel pains from my old symptoms ( thought I had a blood clot in my lung again this morning, then my gallbladder which doesn't exsist anymore started hurting ) blah blah blah.

Has anyone here had or ever dealt with Anxiety and had long term relief from it?

I've taken up Yoga which seems to help, but Im still terrified of having another blood clot, or having something ELSE go wrong in the space of a year.

This isn't supposed to be a cry baby story, I should be damn grateful im alive, healthy, and fit right now, but I cant shake the feeling of impending doom, can you really blame me after having 3 major problems in 1 year?

Any Tips?
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[Buttmouth]

That. is just. so.

Well, I had heaps bad separation anxiety when I was like 9 years old, after my parents got divorced. One thing I tried was channeling the feeling of connectedness into an inanimate object, and that object was a pencil eraser with "dad" written on one side and "mum" written on the other. I'd just put it in my pocket and go to school and I know its queer but it helped for some reason.

It really was bad before that. like I'd collapse in the street on the way to school and just give up and run back home.

I think it might help to be cautious, but not so cautious that you can't progress and move past it.

I still get nervous about things. But after I got to high school I got past it.

Maybe its just time that helps it? Not sure.
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twitter: @meandtheplague
music: http://iamtheagent.bandcamp.com

[diangelogrey]

Anxiety is a bitch. It sounds like your having pretty bad panic attacks. I suffer from very bad anxiety on top of other things and it is crippling and I know what your going through.

I am sorry to hear your going through this.

I would suggest you go and see a Pshycologist about your anxiety as it will be a lot easier for you to treat with proper help.

You have gone through something very traumatic so its natural for your brain to be in this state.

If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM me and I really hope you are doing okay.
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[Zaul]

[diangelogrey]

Friends are important but if your suffering from anxiety and paranoia is a part of that (not sure if it is for you) sometimes confiding in friends can lead you to feeling like you dont belong, which will make you distance yourself from the world even more.

I would say its great to spend time with your friends and do all that friend stuff but try and keep your anxiety out of the picture with them as it can make some people feel a bit uncomfortable with things they dont understand or dont believe in.

Thats why I suggest a Pshycologist as then you have a clear line in the sand. Its like you wouldnt talk to your mates about a wart on your toe or something.

Also a Pshycologist cant prescribe drugs they are really just a sounding board and a place to teach you coping methods to deal with the stuff you have gone through.

A Psychiatrist is more into feeding you drugs for your issues like a doctor would and I would only go to one as a last resort in your case.

But hey if you have understanding friends then it shouldnt be a issue just be careful as anxiety can really turn into a spiral.
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[Mick Saige]

Stay strong man... I can't really compete with any of that...

I know the effect your mind can have on your physical state… When ever I’m really stressed and anxious the effect on my body is catastrophic. For example the night before my first day at the magazine I ended up getting such a severe back spasm I ended up in hospital. Literally just stress and effect.

My only advice would be to seek advice on coping strategies, chat to people who have been through similar things and yeah… just keep on keeping on. Try not to let things keep you down.

Sorry I can’t be more helpful. I just felt like. I dunno, not sitting this one out. All the best mate.

[Scrav]

Zaul,

It sounds like psychologically you have had it drilled into you that you can't live a normal life. You indicate that you have a desire to improve your life physically, but given the horrors that have happened to you over the past year, you don't want to fall into the situation that happened to you before. That sounds like a normal reaction to me and I think I can understand how you developed an anxiety complex over it.

I have some minor (I guess?) anxiety when socialising with people. I suspect it developed as a result of frequently being corrected and criticised as a young child when interacting with others, but can't be sure myself. Its not so bad these days, but I used to clam up, perspire and avoid drawing attention to myself. In the grand scheme of things, it really sounds quite trivial.

Unfortunately I don't really have any advice. I also would advise visiting your local doctor in regards to physical activity if there is rational possibility of causing injury to yourself. I think it is a great move that you want to improve your health, but please take the necessary precautions.

[NeoSanity]

Oh wow, it's really impressive that you have been able to take those first few steps and that alone is a challenge. Though conquering anxiety itself is a real challenge, but it's one of the most rewarding feelings you will ever have when you come to that self-realisation that you've overcome it.

I've had to overcome a lot of social awkwardness in the past, it was probably made worse being in such a poor school environment. I only recently overcame it, though that's a story worthy of it's own thread. Though lately I've been trying to work through my pseudodysphagia (An irrational fear of choking), and while it's quite a bit better than it used to be (Again, another story, though a much more distressing one), there's still some way to go.

[Gamesta]

[Kyle Clarthy]

First of all, I want to say that I'm really sorry to hear that, Zaul, I really am.

I'm actually going through a similar thing in regards to anxiety and depression, but it's for an entirely different reason involving a lot of things that have occurred in my life and from quite a young age, and never having them be addressed or acknowledged. When I began working at a certain place, the manager there gave me such a hard time, that everything came crashing down and I am having a difficult time trying to stand back up, so to speak. However, no matter how different our situations are, I would not wish this feeling upon anyone. Things can be so tough without that crippling feeling as it is, and it's very hard to put into words just exactly what I'm going through.

I'm actually on medication at the moment, and it doesn't seem to be working at all, as there seems to be far more problems that arise than the so-called benefits they claim will occur on the pack. This will be my fourth medication now, and each and every one of them has had a negative effect.

So, I understand the medicine may help some people, but you have to be prepared to find the right one that suits your needs, and it's not an easy step to take.

As for a psychologist, I thoroughly recommend seeing one, as they really do help as a sounding board. Again, it's tough, because you need to be able to find the right person that you "click" with, as even a psychologist may not seem to be able to comprehend what you're dealing with. In the case of my psychologist and my doctor, they never dismiss what I say, and that can be such a relief, because, like someone said earlier, friends and even family members can consider what you're feeling to be kind of redundant or silly or over-reacting. Again, in my case, I probably should have listened to my warning signs earlier instead of listening to what other people said about me, and how there wasn't anything to worry about or whatever.

It's hard, though, because someone mentioned not to involve your friends with it, but the situation is a hard enough one as it is without hiding the issue. I believe that the true friends are the ones who will stick by you through whatever occurs. I don't really have many friends, but the ones who I do have are the people that are there for me, and listen just as much to me as my psychologist does. If any of them are uncomfortable about the situation, then that's not a very good sign in my opinion. As long as they're willing to learn or understand what you're going through, instead of just brushing you off, then that's the sign of a good friend, in my opinion.

I also think that you need to try and get rid of the negativity that can be associated with such a thing, as it's unhealthy and you can absorb all the bad aspects like a sponge and they just won't go away.

I have a dream of being a writer, and quite a few of my family members think this is nothing but a dream, but to be honest, this is one of the things that's keeping me going at the moment. I'm not really sure how it will turn out, but at least I have that goal in mind and I've written two novels so far, and illustrated for another woman's self published title and written two stories for my young niece's birthdays. It actually gives me a huge sense of accomplishment and makes it all feel worthwhile. Of course, I've had family members respond negatively to this, saying that you can't make a living out of it, you won't get anywhere as the market is too saturated, etc. But they don't understand that this keeps me going, this keeps me happy. You need to try and find something like that that will make you feel positive. It can be hard, especially when family members aren't as supportive as you would like them to be, but I believe that it really can help.

I'm not too sure what to suggest specifically about your situation, but it seems like there's a decent community here who would be more than happy to be a sounding board in some sort of way, so I guess I'll finish by saying that it seems that there's a lot of people here with similar issues, and if you ever wanted to talk about it there will always be someone willing to listen.
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[dalmatian]

Well i can relate as i have mild to moderate Aspergers Autism. Video games are my life and main love, if it wasn't for them, i wouldnt be here today. I have chronic paranoia from abusing drugs most of my life to try to ease my own personal insecurities and self doubt, great for short term, nearly fatal in long term.

For the time i was smoking pot daily (that aint the only thing ive been addicted to in my life trust me) the paranoia, anxiety and depression caused me to go into black moods, which sometimes lasted weeks, and even a couple of months on one occasion.

Dealing with being depressed is easy once you feel one of these black moods. When you get to the point were you literally give up rather than being angry/vengeful, you go through katatonic limbo, literally a black hole of complete apathy. I thank God everyday that i still have my family and pets because even now after stopping the pot for 6 months, i know i wouldn't be able to cope with that sort of sorrow and stress.

Sorry for getting off topic, but anxiety is a bitch and all those pains you go through are just as hard if not harder than the constant mental and neurological torment i go through daily. I know they're are some great prescription drugs which will ease your mental pain on the market, like Zoloft, Zyprexa (if you have a slow metabolism or are overweight, i do not recommend this one though), Luvox, Solian (spelling?) which im sure any psychiatrist would be happy to prescribe you.

Only reason i know all this is because these are just but a few of the anxiety/depression drugs that my psychiatrist have given me over the years. Luvox is the only one i continue to take daily with another one to treat my constant anxiety, depression and paranoia. I sincerely hope that you find something that works for you because you deal with these issues by yourself you will fail, believe me. It takes medicine, a psychiatrist, friends, family to get through the sort of problems your going through right now and i pray that you get through them ASAP.


Cheers =)
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[Cyph]

I'm sorry to hear that Zaul. Like many others here, I too can associate with your plight.

A few years back I went through a rather nasty, lengthy and in all honesty, world view crushing breakup with my then girlfriend of five years. I was in tatters. At first I was angry with her, then with other people, and eventually the entire world. I have never felt such bitterness and hatred before then, even know I can remember how strongly I felt. Slowly it all started to snowball on me, not being able to deal with the rage I turned to drinking. Sure enough that helped soothe the edginess for a while but it was no solution. I became helplessly negative, sarcastic and at times violent. I realized I was losing grip on myself, but unfortunately, this worry manifested itself into anxiety. A deep rooted fear that I would never amount to anything, that I was going nowhere and it was 'too late' was quickly took hold. One morning I was having a shower and had a panic attack, right before blacking out I remember looking up on the fall down. Luckily I did not hurt myself (just a nasty bump to the head).

I went off to see a Psychologist but after a few sessions I felt his words of advice were missing the mark. Instead of feeling like I could deal with this problem, I felt his take on my problems only compounded my feeling of despair and pending doom.

Around that time work asked me to travel to Seattle (the first of many trips). My take on life at the time was 'whatever, who cares', so I took up the offer. That was the best decision I ever made. Being away from my family, friends, worries and things to remind me of my problems in general helped me clear my head. I was in a new city, made new friends and lived a new life. I didn't reinvent myself, rather, I rediscovered who I was. More or less, I had an epiphany; that *I could* deal with my issues and *I will be fine*, and as easily as that, things started to sort themselves out.

I think Scrav is right; it sounds like you have been told, and accepted, that you can't live a normal life. You can live a normal life. You are living a normal life. You've been doing it this entire time subconsciously until you realized that you are.

You should go see a Psychologist (obviously one that comes recommended and not some quack). Other than that, my only advice is to think positive, to remember that friends will always be there for you and to make the most of any help.

[Frozencry]

I had a very nasty bout of anxiety all throughout high school. So bad that I missed nearly half a year of school due to panicking like crazy and simply being terrified to go. It was strange, though I had a fair few bad experiences in my first year at school so I figured that's what traumatised me.

That being said, I managed to get over it through a lot of breathing exercises. Taking a deep breath in through your mouth then breathing out slowly through your nose, and repeating. I did this for a good minute or so and it helped in calming me immensely, and through it I was able to go to school much more chilled out (there were random bouts of sudden anxiety but I was able to sustain them through repeating the exercises). I've never seen a therapist for my issues, and so far I've managed to stay perfectly fine. I actually get strangely anxious when I'm on my way somewhere, even if it's TAFE, which is a daily attendence for me, but generally I just keep up with my exercises of breathing and I remain completely calm.

I don't know if that'll help your issues at all as your past experience is far more traumatic and painful than the things I went through, but hopefully you'll be able to sort out the anxiety issues; it has an utterly devestating effect on one's psyche.
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[IISpacebreakII]

I started to get anxiety however I completely stopped it in its tracks. By telling myself that things weren't important I was able to not get anxiety anymore. This is the biggest mistake of my life, please don't ever tell yourself things aren't important. They are but I believe I have stuffed myself up mentally, physically, emotionally and even spiritually as a result.

Like Cyph I had a major breakup, or technically a major rejection and things went from bad to worse to nightmare, I originally hated the girl, then other people and now the entire world also. My views are also negative, I'm also becoming more violent as time passes on, one of my problems is (As I'm sure it is with a few others) is that 'I believe myself to be such a nice person, why is the world/people so frikken shit to me?', anyway yet again I told myself thing's weren't important and it didn't matter to me, I coped with the initial trauma, but deep down I now have bigger problems as a result I think.

I'm not 100% sure, but if I didn't know better my Anxiety turned into Depression, which has now turned into something else I've seen called Depersonalization Disorder, or commonly just being 'Disconnected'. Its hard to describe though in gaming terms I suppose you could call it Living Third Person, I feel external to myself. Everything feels like a dream, nothing feels real yet at the same time I can distinguish between reality and not, paradoxically it feels like I have no feelings, yet this feeling of having no feelings is completely awful, time is also everywhere, but nowhere, today could have been 2 months long, or 2 hours yet it all feels the same. It feels like I'm living outside of Time. I feel no joy from anything I've been doing. Also everything is mechanical, Paintball would be pretty exciting to most people, yet I was just 'Meh'. It was as exciting as going to the shops to buy food. Even my lifelong dreams, to have a family and my own home have disappeared. I still want it, but it wouldn't matter if I never got it...I feel that way, I know its wrong I just feel that way. From my posts people wouldn't picture me being like this at all, that's because I don't post anything other then being positive, because I know there is something wrong with me, but I don't want to feel like I'm dragging people down. I know that's definitely the wrong way to think about it, it's good to talk about things I think.

I have no idea how to fix these problems, but I know how I got here, and that's because I told myself that thing's weren't important. Even just now, after typing this out for 20 minutes, I considered deleting it due to me thinking that it's not important, I do this all the time with posts, I think some of you guys may have noticed, but with this one post I'm just gunna stick it out and post it now. So yeah Zaul I don't have much advice, though its crucial that you never tell yourself that thing's aren't important, whatever makes you happy, you gotta do it, even if it makes you anxious, so much better to be anxious about something you care about, then to lose care for everything, and become a soulless zombie. I think I might be getting a little better though, I hope I am. I do want a job so bad, but I feel like it wouldn't matter if I didn't get one. It makes it very hard to take action, unless something else forces you to..

[Jahanzeb]

[IISpacebreakII]

[Mauii]

[Duckula]

[IISpacebreakII]

[bcdub]

When somebody says there are plenty of fish in the sea, they aren't implying that you should go out on the town and hump the first thing that looks at you. It's a pretty short and easy way of saying that despite everything that's happened, you'll always meet someone else that makes you happy. To lash out at anyone saying that only makes you a douche wallowing in self pity.

I had a poor ending to a 5 year relationship get me down in the dumps for a good 7 or 8 months, but I didn't wallow about and sook about it. Life moves on and clearly if the special feelings werent returned from this person then you are being clingy and need to move on.

On topic:

A friend of a friend claims he suffers from anxiety yet it only seems to show up conveniently when he is forced to get a job and not bludge on the dole. As such it's always been a little hard for me to get it when people demonstrate such a trait. I understand that there can be a lot of underlying factors but I've always been able to overcome any sort of mental block. Was scared of heights as a kid so I climbed a heap of really high shit until it bothered me no more. Couldn't the same sort of thing be applied to this?

[thescarecrow]

[Cyph]

For those with relationship issues, the best advice I can give you (that worked for me) is this;
a) unless you DID something wrong, remember that there is nothing wrong with you and it is unfortunately a part of life, if the former, seek help
b) try talking your issues through with people who will listen and be helpful
c) in my case, distance yourself from your current surroundings and those that remind you of your former partner. You need to let yourself grow and develop, and
d) you do not need to be in a relationship to have a happy life

Ofcourse, for me and just like everyone else, relationship problems are never as clear cut as others make it seem. There is always heartache, pain, rejection and uncertainty. It is best to get on top of these feelings before they manifest themselves into something much more serious (such as anxiety, depression or even worse).

[Jahanzeb]

[Zaul]

Well I appreciate everyones input, Im off to Canada in 12 hours so its been a honor.

Cya all on the other side I'll still annoy you all on PALGN. except for me it will be NTSCGN
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[Cyph]

LOL, I was suggesting getting away and I can not recommend Canada enough. Mate, that place is pure heaven. I wish I was back there. Best time of my life.

Take care and keep in touch