3… 2… 1… GO! * blows engine *
GT-R 400 puts you in the seat of a couple of Le Manns style cars (in theory at least), in order to progress through a series of incredibly easy racing championships, consisting of three to six races each. Finishing each championship unlocks either a new/backwards track or a ‘different’ (in 95% of cases, it is just a different colour) car. On top of the illustrious Championship mode is the Time Trial game, where, for some unknown reason, the bulk of the game lies. There are stacks of different Time Trials, each unlocking a different coloured – or occasionally new – car, and the next Time Trial challenge. I’ll be honest – I only managed to get up to the eighth challenge before the urge to kill myself was becoming overwhelming, so I don’t really know (or want to, for that matter) how deep it goes. If you’re a masochist who enjoys inflicting pain on friends (or has a friend they no longer want), there is also a two-player mode.
Ohh! What a pretty title screen!
If there is anything even close to decent in GT-R 400, it is the visuals. Whilst they aren’t even remotely great, the tracks and cars are nicely designed, with the bright colours looking acceptable. Oh, they are hardly detailed models like you would expect from a PS2 racing game – and probably capable of being reconstructed on N64 hardware – but they are pleasant enough to look at. However, all this is more or less useless due to the fact that the textures are either a) non existent, or b) rubbish. Cars are completely smooth, and it looks incredibly weird. At least the game runs fluently – although, there’s no excuse for it not too, considering the low level of detail. Regardless, full points to the developers for taking several complete steps towards producing a solid looking game.
Well, at least it doesn’t LOOK too bad.
* screws up plastic bag *
However, all those points – and then some – should be immediately retracted, as all aspects of the audio are utterly HORRID. Crashes should sound like a deadly orchestra of metal crunching while fighting for superiority – not a plastic shopping bag being screwed up before being thrown in the bin. And since when did car engines that sounded like an awful midi synth come back into fashion? I thought those died with the Super Nintendo. Thankfully, it’s hard to criticize the music side of the audio – BECAUSE THERE ISN’T ANY. Actually, that isn’t entirely true. A five second loop of dance music can be heard through all the opening menus, but – honestly this is true – that is IT. There aren’t even different samples for the various menus – just the one. You could argue this is for realism, but looking at others aspects of the game, you will see there are roughly ten thousand other factors getting in the way of this ideal. Or, perhaps the developers don’t have radios in their cars, instead preferring to make engine noises when they drive.
Anybody in there?
Now onto the gameplay… Oh, that’s right, the developers forgot to include any. GT-R 400 has the worst physics system that has ever graced a racing game. The handling – unbelievably – seems to be digital. You pull slightly on the analog stick, which straightens up your vehicle, but if you keep it there for longer then a fraction of a second, the car will violently turn as if you had just fully locked the wheel. In this day and age, handling like this just doesn’t cut it. Cars don’t behave even remotely consistent either, often seeming like the game just tossed a coin to see whether touching the chicane would have no effect on your speed, or put your car up on two wheels before spinning you into the sand. When you combine these two factors, things just get disastrous. Cars behave in a matter so unpredictable that often even the tightest corners can become a hassle.
Oh, but don’t think that means GT-R 400 will provide a challenging gameplay experience, as the championships are so unbelievably easy due to your computer opponents keeping things in second or third gear for the entire race. After the first few corners of a race, don’t expect to see your opponents again unless you end up buried in the back of a sand trap several times.
Please make it stop!
If you can somehow overlook the chronic gameplay flaws in GT-R 400 to actually play the game for longer than ten minutes, you can expect a game of pretty short length. The six championships shouldn’t keep even the most casual of gamers occupied for too long, as they are simply too easy.
Time Trial mode provides a much greater challenge, with more than enough time trial challenges to complete. However, getting a differently coloured car is hardly incentive enough to put yourself through such torture, as stated previously in this review.
Notice a similar theme with those cars?
It will devour us all! AGGHHHH!
Do not buy this game. This cannot be stressed enough. It has literally NO playability, the worst audio and in game physics seen since the 16 bit days, and will induce intense feelings of rage and sadness. I have no idea what the developers were thinking with this game – perhaps they thought of a get rich quick scheme by capitalizing on the successful GT name, before remembering that they had no concept of how to create a video game.
This, my friends, is the one of the worst games you will ever play. The worst game on the PS2? Quite possibly. The worst game since the PSX? There’s a chance. The worst game of all time? …Well, it’s hard to imagine a video game worse than GT-R 400.
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