As more astute readers may have already picked up, Mario Party 8 isn't quite the party some had hoped for. That's not to say it isn't fun - it's just to say that as party games go, there comes a point when the laughter becomes a little forced, the guests start looking at their watches, and the conversation becomes faintly stilted. Everyone's been there - the party's been fun, but as no-one really wants to acknowledge that it's over, everyone stands around staring at each other, desperately hoping someone will be the first to suggest they might leave. The host is increasingly boorish, having been forced to entertain all night, and is starting to use inappropriate language. Mario Party, it may be time to turn off the lights and call it a night. Either that or try something different - a cocktail party, maybe?
Yup. That's paint drying.
With almost ten years behind the Mario Party franchise, the basic formula hasn't changed since launch. Originally released on the Nintendo 64 in December, 1998, the franchise has had seven sequels as well as appearing on the Game Boy Advance, in the arcade, and is soon to make its debut on the Nintendo DS. At its heart, Mario Party is basically a modern take on Snakes and Ladders, Sorry, and all those classic boardgames - land on certain tiles, get coins that give you the ability to buy powerups or possibly win the game (depending on the board and ruleset). Land on a different tile, lose coins and see the game gradually slip away from you. Land on some candy and get a powerup that will either help you or hinder your opponents. It really isn't rocket science.
Up to four human and computer controller players challenge each other on a series of boards, each of which has its own unique quirks and intricacies, but fundamentally, you roll your dice and you take your chances - nothing too revolutionary so far. Except, instead of trusting your fate entirely to the random chance of a dice roll, you then play a minigame. Or so the theory goes, anyway.
Depending on what type of square you land on, who's turn it is, and what board you're playing, the minigames range from a free-for-all that sees everyone compete for the top spot to all-against-one domination minigames. There's also two-against-two, duels, and challenges, where the goal is to achieve a specific objective in the specified time. Once everyone's had a turn moving, you rinse and repeat until you've either met the board's objectives or you've played a pre-defined number of turns.
The biggest problem with the game is that if you've played Mario Party before, you've played this. Hudson Soft has made a point previously of stating that no minigames have been repeated between Mario Party iterations, but it kind of misses the point - the minigames are still pretty much the same. The major addition is the Wii remote - now with more waggle! "Evolutionary", and we use that term very weakly, improvements include games such as shaking a soda can (in what could appear as a fairly obscene gesture to an onlooker) to see who can cause the highest spray.
Better uses of the Wii remote include various shooting games, but they don't hide the fact that many of the games are overly simplistic. Some of the board games go on longer than they really should, simply because it's too easy to get exactly the same high score as the people you're playing against. The shooting games are notoriously bad at this - you know something's not quite right when you tie in duel-based games four times in a row on your second play session.
Around and around we go. Eight times, in fact.
To try and mix things up a little, Mario Party 8 provides some interesting board and rule variations. The Donkey Kong board is highly standard fare involving multiple routes and shortcuts, but other boards such as the Shy-Guy train ride provide some desperately needed variation through dynamically altering the board layout throughout the game. There aren't too many boards, but there's at least enough to provide some gameplay variation. To round out the offering, it also includes a very poor cousin's version of Wii Tennis and Wii Bowling, a number of Mii-incorporating "big" minigames, and a series of unlockable extras including music, sound effects, and collectable figurines
Unfortunately, life's not quite a game. Mario Party 8 suffers from some serious limitations. Unbelievably, despite the game claiming to be 16:9, the minigames are actually in 4:3. They barely (and only arguably) scrape through being called "widescreen" through the inclusion of coloured bars on the left and right hand sides of the action. Apparently it's only 4:3 if the bars are black. Thanks for that, Hudson.
The host of the game is also needlessly verbose. By about the third game, only the absolutely most patient among us are going to be able to sit through his hi-LARious hijinks without gritting their teeth. And, making it even more fun, there's no way to skip through the dialogue, the animations, or pretty much anything for that matter. The game mechanics provide some semblance of skill-based gameplay, but then strip it all away and throw it back to chance by randomly giving players game-winning bonuses once the match is over. Won every minigame all the way through? Don't worry - you'll still lose to the guy next to you who drooled on his controller for the entire game. And, to top it all off, single player mode represents almost a complete void of fun, missing the point in a big way given the primary focus on in-person multiplayer.
On the bright side, it's still Mario Party. And, average graphics quality, irritatingly repetitive music, and bland minigames aside, it's still possible to have fun with it. It's a game that's perfectly matched to having four Wii remotes lying around for a quick (or, as the case may be due to the inability to skip animations, very drawn out) game. It's easy to see how it'd be a massive hit for anyone with younger kids - the games aren't so challenging as to be too hard for them, and it's a great way for a family to come together to play. And, while PALGN severely discourages binge drinking, it's also likely to be a huge hit with the college crowd looking for something to play while debating the hidden subtext of Hamlet in between games of chess. Or something like that, anyway.
Overall, it's tired, it's bland, and it's a shocking attempt to deliver a widescreen game, but it's Mario Party on the Wii. It'll sell like hotcakes (and already has), but that doesn't mean it's actually that great a game. Unless you're screaming for a four-player board-based minigame or have small kids, stay away from this one and wait for something better. If, against all odds, nothing shows up, buy it from the bargain bin - at least that way you'll get your money's worth.
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