For the experienced Harvest Moon fans, the imperative information. Gone is the choice -- nay, the transgender marital fantasies -- of playing as a female farmer, with the game defaulting to a male protagonist upon the unequivocal option of 'New Game'. Nevertheless, this doesn't stop the imagery of the GameCube version's female protagonist shamefully showing up in the game's opening loading screens. Yes, the game looks practically as sub Animal Crossing-esque -- and henceforth, horrifyingly basic/ugly -- as it did back in 2006. And no, the addition of Wii waggle doesn't make the already sordid unlockable mini-games of the GameCube original any more entertaining than they already weren't. There you go -- there's your validation for grabbing an import copy all those years ago. For the rest of the sordid Magical Melody virgins, read on.
As ever, Magical Melody follows the Harvest Moon formula to a proverbial 'T'. Being the new arrival in town, players will naturally don the identity of that tell-tale blue-capped farm boy who seems to multiply faster than the average lagomorph, transcending generations of identical looking aspiring young farmers with every game -- a feat that by now should make even the Legend of Zelda series' perplexing timeline take notes. Whatever the case, with nary a ranch inheritance to base the loosely veiled plot upon this time around, Magical Melody sees the blue-capped custom named entity entering the nearby Flower Bud Village, garnering a farm lot in the process. Such free spoils are fleeting however, before news that the local Harvest Goddess’ behind requires saving, conveniently achievable only through the time-tested game design of a Harvest Moon title. It's clichéd and downright agonisingly slow, with all the requisite laughably awful dialogue intact -- and it'll be a ignorant reason to purchase a Harvest Moon game primarily for in the first place.
Indeed, a thought-provoking narrative piece on the delicate nuances of agriculture is the last thing one delves into a Harvest Moon title to experience -- rather, there's a whole lot of fun farmin' behind them thar frills. All the expected obligations of the ranch life are present and correct in all their curiously charming and engaging goodness -- tilling, planting, picking, cutting, sheering, riding, whacking, cooking, feeding, milking, fishing, selling, sleeping, planning -- the list goes on to a somewhat time-consuming and patience-requiring degree. Not to mention finding time for the all important quest in courting a suitable wife to procreate with, there'll also be time for your avatar to unwind -- perhaps chatting it up with the local townspeople, entering festival competitions, thereby unlocking (admittedly uneventful) mini-games, exploring the nearby forests, mountains or caves, or even going on a tropical island getaway. Upgrading and expanding the farming monopoly, with near hundreds of hours of events and rare items to discover, is available for the discerning materialist and/or completist out there to worry themselves over too. Just don’t forget to fill the delivery box at the end of day to support such obsessive compulsive behaviour.
Of course, with such a life mirroring, and fundamentally monotonous, game design, reason dictates there has to be a giant downer controlling it all. Literally. Enter the obligatory 'whining about the appalling Wii Remote controls' paragraph. Sure, basic movement and interactions are handled with traditional analogue stick movement on the Wii Nunchuk and a somewhat lousily confusing button layout shared between the Wii Remote and its corded partner in crime. And thankfully, what Wii waggle there is, is entirely optional. Indeed, when it comes to using the consequential farming tools of the game, Magical Melody definitely puts the 'sensitive' in motion sensitive controls. It isn't annoying enough that they are far from 1:1 -- to make matters worse, the smallest movement on the Wii Remote can send your little farm boy whacking his hammer where there are no moles; casting his rod where there is not a bite in sight; slashing his sickle where the bush is all but bare; and a host of other questionable examples that ride the line of unintentional innuendo. In short, the horrible Wii Remote functionality is no basis for a two year delay and the loss of half the game.
WHO TOLD YOU I WAS IN YOUR ROOM LAST NI... oh, ha... ha.
I mean, yeah. I'm just thoughtful like that.
I mean, yeah. I'm just thoughtful like that.
It's this sort of lazy design that also makes it seemingly impossible for newcomers to the franchise to figure out what they're actually meant to be doing -- a signature caveat of any Harvest Moon title, after all. Granted, there's clearly been an effort on Marvelous Interactive’s part to guide players through the daunting farming motions. The eponymous Magical Melodies', of which there are no less than 100 in total, are awarded upon completion of certain 'guiding tasks' -- ranging from the premiere selling of certain items, to the far more abstract. The problem with this achievement system is that players have next to no clue as to what actions are awarded a Melody, and therefore are literally unaware of the 'correct' actions they should be taking with their farming until after the fact. On top of that, there's the player's ever present rival, in the form of the originally androgynous Jamie, who makes it a goal of her artificial ranch life to criticise every piece of progress the player makes -- in turn, confusing players even more to the validity of their actions.
Indeed, the first few hours of the game will be spent between making sense of the half-handed advice of the village folk -- who seem bent on telling you oh-so-little of what does what and when -- and trying to decipher the relevance of it all in regards to Magical Melody's bloated and unwieldy inventory screens. There's an obvious trial and error methodology to success in Harvest Moon -- a time-consuming characteristic for all the wrong reasons in today's game development climate. Obvious artefacts of the game's 2006 origins, it's a shame these regretful setbacks weren't given any attention for re-tinkering in the move for a Wii port and audience.
But even with such dated objective mechanics, even with such ugly visuals, it's hard not to be charmed by the environments and the miniscule residents within. They may be as charismatic as a doorknob when it comes to opening their mouths, but they sure know how to look full of bounce and vivacity. Such verve isn't exclusive to the bipedal mammals either -- the numerous livestock encapsulate characterised beguileness, with facial expressions and movements in their own adorable manner. It's only appropriate that the surrounding habitats of Flower Bud Village embrace a similar living simplicity -- even if it's with a low resolution textured and detailed sheen.
The same unfortunately can't be said for Magical Melody's audio department. Ironically enough, much unlike the titular objective of the game, the only magic to be ascertained from this Harvest Moon's in-game melodies is a cure for sanity. The quality of music ranges from the cheerfully tolerable, to the repetitively grating. While the rest of the sound effects department is par for the Japanese designed course, at least these headache-inducing tunes can be momentarily drowned out by the hilariously bad sound effects that villagers grunt at you after finishing their brief textual speech. If anything, the game almost seems to want you to talk to the same person again and again for the amusing DJ scratching after-effect possibilities.
Could Magical Melody have benefited from a concerted effort to polish the numerous rusted edges of the two-year-old game? Sure. Did it really need those (optional) Wii Remote motion controls tacked on? Heck no. No matter the end score, self-professed fans of Harvest Moon will have already made their decision on a purchase -- and rightfully so. However, those completely unfamiliar with the mechanics of the series need be wary of the arduous confusement and time required to invest for success. At the end of the (long farming) day, Harvest Moon: Magical Melody is more an endeavour, than a pastime. It won't be proving the franchise's neigh-sayers wrong any time soon. Much like cleaning out a thematical pig sty, it's an ugly job, but some folk'll love to do it.
*Note: Images used in this review are taken from the GameCube version of the game.

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