So there I am, a few days before Easter just praying for an Easter miracle. Not a big one, mind you; just the resurrection of the UMD video format. In a blaze of light, a UMD video would emerge from the warehouse behind the pallets of other discontinued stock, and take its rightful place back on the shelves of Wal-Mart and any other major retailing-Judas that had seen fit to hasten its demise.
Sadly, my Easter prayers have been shattered by last weeks rumours that the PSP’s successor is in development and won’t be compatible with the UMD format at all, with Sony dropping the format entirely in favour of a digital distribution model. Now this news came courtesy of Shacknews – don’t worry, I hadn’t heard of them either. Turns out they are a US online gaming news site – an outfit so credible they don’t need a confidence inspiring slogan the likes of CNN’s ‘The most trusted name in news’ or BBC World’s ‘Putting News first’. Not Shacknews. Their slogan – ‘It gets you chicks’ neither inspires confidence or makes a great deal of sense.
Now don’t get me wrong; getting chicks is an admirable and popular goal and perhaps the slogan is even effective in attracting people to the site, because by all accounts Shacknews has quite a strong online presence. Even I joined their forums, although to date, my newly acquired Shacknews membership doesn’t appear to have got me any chicks, either of the hot babe or the poultry variety, despite me ticking all the boxes saying I was happy to receive unsolicited emails, when I signed up.
When it comes to proprietary formats, Sony is loyal...to a fault.
But I digress. Back to the topic at hand. Shacknews refer to a ‘reliable source close to Sony’. Reliable in what sense exactly…their ability to ‘get chicks'? Excuse my cynicism, but the phrase ‘close to Sony’ is just a little too open to interpretation. We’re less likely to be talking about Sony CEO Howard Stringer’s personal assistant and more likely talking about the Fed-Ex guy that delivers freight to EB Games in downtown Dallas, Texas, (the home of Shacknews). The report goes on to say that “It will have built in hard drive support from the beginning, and will not be using the UMD media format, either for games or for other content.” Not only that but the new PSP2 “…may appear some time in the next three years." If we hadn’t already crossed the borders into ‘Crazytown’, we’ve well and truly in Crazytown territory now.
We don’t need an inside source to know that Sony will soon embrace a digital distribution model, Sony has told us that much already. But to abandon the UMD media format entirely, and so soon after it’s introduction. That’s not the Sony we know and love (or possibly hate). Truth is, if vinyl records had been a Sony proprietary format, Sony would still be flogging them today. Sony Australia is still selling Beta VCR blank tapes and head cleaning tapes for god sake, which is a good thing really because, chances are, if you're still using a Beta VCR in 2006, your tape heads are probably getting just a tad dirty. Sure Sony might at times back the wrong horse, but you could never accuse the company of not being loyal either to the product or their customers. Sony may have stopped selling Minidisc Walkmans in Australia, but continues to support the product in other territories and in fact has just released the latest generation Hi-MD player in Japan.
Blind loyalty aside, there’s just no way Sony will give up the PSP’s valuable in-store presence. Have you been to your local shopping mall lately? Notice how full the car park was? It may be Easter holidays, but chances are you or someone in your family is off worshipping at the nearest Westfield Shrine of Consumerism. Shopping’s our religion, and even in this online, wired world we live in, the majority of us do the majority of our shopping the good old fashioned way! Will it always be this way? I have no idea. I’m as reliable a Nostradamus as the Shacknews 'source’, but I know this much. Things won’t change that much in the next three years.
An offer you can't refuse?
Sure it makes sense for the next generation of the PSP to have a hard drive and that may well come to pass. It would make sense for Sony to allow UMD discs to load content onto the hard drive to reduce loading times and conserve battery power. Perhaps this functionality will only be allowed as long as the original UMD remains in the PSP. With 4GB and 8GB memory sticks on the horizon, and 2GB sticks becoming affordable, perhaps this functionality could even be put into a future firmware upgrade for current generation PSPs. But abandoning the UMD format entirely? It just isn’t going to happen, not in the next few years at least.
That’s not to say there are not lessons to be learnt here. The latest Target catalogue is a case in point. $29.95 gets you the latest Harry Potter movie release on DVD. Want the UMD version…the one you can only watch on your PSP, the version without the extras? That will be $39.95 thank you very much. A $10 hit for an inferior product. Even priced at $29.95, the UMD version’s a tough sell, but at a ten dollar premium, Target doesn’t deserve to sell a single copy, and Sony doesn't deserve UMD video to survive.
Gaming Paranoia
I’ve been feeling a little uneasy, ever since the email arrived from Google News Alerts a few days back. I swear I didn’t even sign up for any ‘news alerts'. How did they get my email address and why are they sending me this spam? Who are these mysterious Google people anyway and what do they want with me? Sorry…, where was I? Ok, so I’m at my local Starbucks at Manuka last Wednesday and I’m checking my email, and I see a link to this story about a study that shows violent video games make gamers paranoid. Please. Are they kidding me? I don’t have time for this rubbish. Instead I fire up my PSP and dive back into Liberty City Stories. I'm playing the Portland Chainsaw Masquerade level and it's time to kill a dozen crazy chainsaw-wielding men in suits. “Die bastards die”, I yell, a little too loudly, forgetting I’ve got my headphones on. There are a few elderly women dressed for tennis, sitting by the window who turn and give me the evil eye. What is their problem? I turn off the PSP and head to the counter to order a coffee. I give up...what the hell is with these cup sizes? Are they just trying to embarrass me? What ever happened to small, medium and large? Bloody barristas! I order a Tall flat white, but now the Smiling Assassin behind the counter wants my name. I don’t think so. Is that really necessary. Want to plant a satellite tracking navigation chip in my ear while you're at it? You can call me Black Shirt I say to the Smiling Assassin. She sighs, shakes her head and motions to the three gentleman standing behind me in the line, all dressed entirely in black. “Ok, John Smith”, call me John Smith”. I concede, while warily glancing back at the three menacing dark figures standing behind me. I hadn’t even seen them enter the building. Who are they and what are they doing in Starbucks? The Smiling Assassin is asking if I want to recharge my Starbucks card? What’s she implying now; that there’s not enough money left on the card? Now she’s whispering to the Frothy Milk Guy. Why is she whispering? I wait for what seems a lifetime for Frothy Milk Guy to call out “John Smith”. I was going to pull out my Blackberry and continue to read the news article about the link between violent video games and paranoid gamers but I just don’t want to turn my back on the three suits. Besides, I need to get back to Liberty City and shake things up a little. You’ll just have to read the article yourself.
Have a safe and happy Easter.
Catch you next week on The Wrap.
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