Games are like mixed nuts (go with me here). Some games are like pistachios - you pick them out because they are the best and everyone knows it. Games like Batman: Arkham Asylum and Uncharted 2 are pistachios, and everyone is going to like them (except for weirdos who don't like pistachios - you know who you are). However, not every game can be a pistachios, otherwise you wouldn't truly appreciate them (and this analogy wouldn't work).
Once you've eaten all the pistachios out of the mixed nuts, you're forced to eat a cashew or even a regular peanut...but you'll often find they are also rather tasty. Here at PALGN, we want to recognise the other non-pistachio nuts in the bag that just don't get the kudos for how tasty they are. Sure, they may be a little blander on the whole, but they can certainly fill you up with their nutty goodness. Not every great nut (or game - are you still following?) gets the recognition it deserves, and not all nuts are grown on the same budget, plus there there are a lot of nuts that appeal to different people for different reasons. We want to celebrate the diversity of taste.
However, the mixed nut packet also contains those black and dried up things that sit at the bottom of the bag in all the salt. We want to recognise just how gross they are by pointing at them and mocking them. So without further terrible analogies, ladies and gentlemen, we present PALGN's Mixed Nuts Awards. Salty.
Games that could have sucked but didn’t
Jahanzeb Khan - Writer
MagnaCarta 2. The first Magnacarta game was a train wreck so terrible that there was no hope for the franchise at all but Magnacarta 2 on the other hand is the complete opposite as it offers a surprisingly decent and playable RPG experience.
Jeremy Jastrzab - Executive Editor
Afro Samurai. You'd think that hip-hop and Feudal Japan wouldn’t work, but you'd be wrong. Put together by a remarkably small development team (by modern standards), playing through this surprisingly fun and violent anime-based title was the bomb!
Jason Picker - Writer
Bionic Commando. Based on a relatively niche 80s franchise about a dude with a bionic arm saving the world after a terrorist attack, this game could have been poor. Really poor. But it wasn’t. Short sentences rule. While games like Prototype did it bigger and better (with presumably a bigger budget), Bionic Commando was made purely with fun in mind. No ridiculous puzzles with oversized statues and no chin-scratching pontificating about the state of the world, just balls-to-the-wall, cheesy action which never takes itself too seriously. You can’t hate on a game for that.
James Varoutsos - Writer
Modern Warfare 2. When I heard some of the enhancements made to this game, and some of the options they took out of it (Campaign Co-op), I was expecting mediocrity. Instead here is a game that I will be playing until they make another sequel.
Afro Samurai: The bomb?
Games that should have rocked harder
Michael Kontoudis - Writer
Brutal Legend. Everything was in place for this to be the best game of the year. Shame about the ho-hum mechanics and terminal lack of focus.
Denny Markovic - Writer
Assassins Creed II. Colour me a little disappointed with the sequel to Creed, though I might be the only one. Everything that was there pointed to improvement, but the game’s highly inconsistent animations and visuals, somewhat boring story and dodgy parkour really killed a lot of my enthusiasm.
Brendan - Managing Editor
Prototype. The ultimate video game - in theory. You play as a guy who is borderline indestructible, capable of taking down endless amounts of zombified nasties with all the freedom in the world. However, whenever I attempted finesse - such as grabbing a human at close range - I ended up killing a bunch of poor innocent humans. Amusing? Sure. Frustrating? Oh yes.
Jason Picker - Writer
Killzone 2. I’m sorry, but after so many years of hype all I saw at the end of the day was a cookie-cutter action game played out on limited playing fields with clichés galore and no real 'wow' moments. As deep as a puddle and not the revolution of the shooting genre we were promised.
Jahazeb Khan - Writer
Tekken 6. It took too long for Tekken 6 to make it to home consoles and the results were a bit underwhelming. Too much effort was put into a campaign mode that was doomed to be mediocre from the start.
Anthony Capone - Writer
Modern Warfare 2. Many of us were expecting Modern Warfare 2 to feature some jaw-dropping setups, like the original’s sniper level and nuclear detonation. While the game had some cool sequences, like the snowmobile chase, it sadly lacked that one incredible moment we were all waiting to see.
Games that were so bad we couldn’t finish them
Adam Ghiggino - Deputy Communications
Moonfall: Land of Dreams.My worst reviewed game of the year, and I stand by the 2/10 score. I still feel bad about bashing an indie game with a small budget, but every single part of it was terrible and a waste of your money. Just look at a screenshot from the game, and never look back.
Denny Markovic - Writer
Stormrise. I do feel a little bad rating this one as low as I did, as it is after all an Australian-based developer, but seriously, this game was a righteous pain to play on any console.
Jason Picker - Writer
Terminator Salvation: The Videogame. How can you screw up a game based on an action movie involving killer robots? Play this game and find out. If you get past the third level, you did better than me.
Terminator Salvation: The Videogame. The future has never been so boring.
Games that were so fun we couldn’t put down
Joseph Rositano - Writer
Dynasty Warriors 6: Empires. Dynasty Warriors is one of my guilty gaming pleasures. Sure, the series has its faults, but for mindless button-mashing gameplay I need not turn anywhere else. When the Empires expansion for DW6 was released I simply couldn’t put it down. I must have killed hundreds of thousands of those generic Chinese soldiers, but I did it all in the name of completion. Until I had played every campaign, and until I had the entirety of those 1000 achievement points, there was no stopping me. And to think, I get to do it all over again when Dynasty Warriors: Strikeforce is released on home consoles in early 2010…
James Varoutsos - Writer
Peggle. PopCap has once again proven that the most simplified formula can still be the best. It took a long time and many new games before I put this little gem down.
Kim Ellis - Writer
50 Cent: Blood on the Sand. After five minutes of this game you'll find that it's hilariously over-the-top and a real hoot to play. Pure mindless popcorn gaming for the win.
Michael Pincott - Writer
Borderlands. Shoot. Kill. Loot. Repeat.
Denny Markovic - Writer
Demigod. There's nothing more addictive than plunging a giant, holy battle axe into the skull of a demonic plague-infested fiend and watching them explode, with an announcer yelling "SMITER". Being holy is so fun.
Jason Picker - Writer
The Godfather: Part 2. Anyone who says repetition in a game is always a bad thing truly doesn’t understand gaming. Tetris anyone? Sure, the Godfather 2 was repetitive and had its fair share of glitches, but when that repitition involves cracking skulls on counter-tops to extort people, I’ll happily endure it.
50 Cent: Blood on the Sand. Hilariously over-the-top.
Games that demand a sequel
James Varoutsos - Writer
Borderlands. A great first effort, maybe a sequel would make it brilliant.
Kim Ellis - Writer
Shadow Complex. Definitely one of the most impressive Xbox Live Arcade titles on the Marketplace. Shadow Complex showed with its compelling nature that it can easily steal away just as many hours from your life as any of the big triple-A titles thanks to a simple, fun gameplay mechanic and gorgeous visuals.
Michael Pincott - Writer
Batman: Arkham Asylum. Fortunately for us it was recently announced that an Arkham Asylum sequel is definitely on the way. It's just as well, because while the original gave us a healthy cross-section of the Batman mythos, there is still a whole lot yet to be tapped, not to mention it would be nice to get off Arkham and explore Gotham City proper.
Michael Kontoudis - Writer
Bayonetta. Sure, it may not be available to most of us until 2010, but rest assured, this game has the makings of a wonderful franchise. I dare you to tell me that I'm wrong.
Denny Markovic - Writer
InFamous. The ending to this game basically grabs you by the throat and yells loudly into your ear: "THERE NEEDS TO BE A SEQUEL". Fantastic ending and has me mega keen on an InFamous 2.
Best sequel
Jahanzeb Khan - Writer
Street Fighter IV. Released over a decade after the release of Street Fighter III, number 4 was certainly worth the wait as it delivered a gamplay experience that was much like the timeless classic Street Fighter II but vastly enhanced for the current generation.
Joseph Rositano - Writer
Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story. Now here’s a sequel that’s done right. The core fundamentals which made previous instalments so appealing are left largely unchanged, however, Intelligent Systems has also taken the series in a new direction. You play as Bowser who has a unique fighting style when compared to the Mario Bros, and there are lots of refinements and additions to gameplay that make Bowser’s Inside Story one of the best games available on the dual screen handheld.
James Varoutsos - Writer
Assassin's Creed II. This game improved so much on the first, I was in absolute awe. The combination of that stunning environment from the first and the far less linear structure of the sequel made it a real winner this year.
Michael Kontoudis - Writer
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves is the only real answer. Everything one could want from a follow-up to Drake's Fortune and a little bit more. Uncharted 3 certainly has large boots to fill.
Denny Markovic - Writer
Killzone 2. Yeah yeah, Uncharted 2 was a big step up, but it was a big step up to a game that was already highly regarded. Killzone 1 to Killzone 2? Extreme make-over and polish right there.
Street Fighter IV - worth the wait.
Worst sequel
Michael Pincott - Writer
Left 4 Dead 2 (Australian version). No matter which way you look at it, Australia got thoroughly shafted with the release that Valve threw together. Whether there was some ironic bitterness in the task or they were just hugely rushed, the version of the game we got was the stuff of bargain bins, not the output of a legendary developer. Disappearing bodies and molotovs without flames? Do not want.
James Varoutsos - Writer
Halo ODST. Not quite a sequel, but nonetheless the next title in the Halo universe. Paying full-price for a few hours of story and a repackaged multiplayer? No thanks. Firefight was fun, but not $99 of fun.
Jeremy Jastrzab - Executive Editor
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Over two years in development and more time due to a movie delay and all they could provide was the exact same castle and much less gameplay than last time. Pathetic.
Denny Markovic - Writer
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Yeah I went there. Not only did it fail to deliver the same experience as the first in the single player experience, but the multiplayer decided to become a one-legged, drunken cyclops that screwed PC gamers over with its silly matchmaking and lack of mods. Yep I'm still pissed.
Well that's it for Part 1, Coming soon in Part 2 - Will Denny still hate Modern Warfare 2's multiplayer? Probably. Will Jahanzeb admit that Street Fighter 4 is exactly the same as every other Street Fighter game made in the last 20 years? Very Unlikely. Will Kim get over her infatuation with 50 Cent? Certainly not. But stay tuned anyway!
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