And it's not just good news on the hardware front either, with great titles like Resistance Retribution and GTA: Chinatown Wars all landing over the last week.
I should be ecstatic but I'm not. You see, I don't need a new handheld. I've got one DS, one PSP, and a Game Boy Advance, so I've pretty much got my handheld gaming covered. What I need is a new lifestyle.
Seriously, forget the game classification debate. Handheld gaming devices sales should be restricted. I'm serious. "Are you a kid? Okay, you can buy it. Are you a commuter? Done, here you go. Enjoy your ride to work. Are you a homeless person? You're good to go. Charging it might become an issue, and I'm not sure how many games you can afford, but you've pretty much got the lifestyle we're after. And you Sir? An adult, with a 9-5 job, don't use public transport? I'm afraid we can't in all good conscience sell you this product."
Here's the thing. As an adult, portable gaming devices are a beacon of hope and possibiility. A beam of light cutting a swathe through the fog of adult responsibility and blinking out the following message - Take me with you everywhere you go and I 'Gaming Handheld' will grant you the freedom to play more video games whenever and wherever you want.
That's what's most compelling about the portable video game systems, for children and adults alike; the promise of more gaming. You're no longer tethered to your home console, or the power point. Play what you like, when you like and where you like. It's an argument convincing enough for me to buy the above mentioned list of handhelds, and not just me. Worldwide sales figures point to how much we want our gaming 'to go'. Nintendo have sold one hundred million DS handhelds, while Sony have 50 million sales of the PSP to their name.
The problem is, that compelling argument is a lie.
Just as your home console sits front and centre in your entertainment unit; a permanent reminder of how much enjoyment you could be having playing video games, if it wasn't for the fact that you had to go to work, my handheld gaming devices mock me even more severely. You could bring us along, that is what you bought us for after all, but you're driving and then there's that whole eight-hour working thing you insist upon doing before you come home.
Late last year a Hawaiian bus driver took the whole laid-back Hawaiian culture just a step too far when he decided to play his PSP while driving a bus full of passengers. Now hats off to his eye hand coordination. Obviously I'm not condoning it because firstly, here at The Wrap, we have a fine tradition we'd like to uphold where we mock such acts of gross stupidity, and secondly because it's illegal. Well, not illegal just yet in Hawaii, but that's a whole other story. Suffice to say, Dano would 'book him' if only Dano could be reasonably certain what exactly the bus driver was doing. And while not wanting to condone the bus driver's actions, we can't help feel that perhaps he is one of those gamers who suffers from not having a lifestyle fit for portable gaming. He's tried to get the portable gaming to mesh with his lifestyle and that's where he's come unstuck.
The Portable Gaming Challenge
Now if you're a regular reader of The Wrap, you'll know that I've often expressed a desire to conduct a videogaming study. It seems there's just a lot of easy research money going begging. That, and as I'm sure I've mentioned before, I'm a sucker for those electrodes.
So here's my idea for an experiment. Firstly: purchase one of the most well received, popular portable gaming titles - Exhibit A, Grand Theft Auto Chinatown Wars - check. Secondly, create a deliberate and taxing change to your lifestyle - a dramatic change, not necessarily conducive to portable gaming. Lastly, see if the game is compelling enough to demand to be played despite the lifestyle challenges you now face.
But first I need a lifestyle challenge. If you'll excuse the temporary indulgence: the initial announcement caused a great deal of anticipation, the early screenshots caused a lot of excitement and were very well received, the videos showed a great deal of promise and a lot of development and the final release absolutely wowed all those lucky enough to be present.
If you're all thinking 'what the hell is he talking about now', then I apologise for appearing a little indecipherable. Here's the thing. Last Friday my lovely wife and I had a beautiful baby daughter, Anna Jane Henderson. I'm hoping she'll excuse me using her for inspiration for this week's Wrap, but that's the problem with babies - they are very inspiring! Plus what greater taxing change to my lifestyle could I find, and what perfect timing - being born on a Friday gives me a whole week to get this scientific gaming study completed.
Now the study itself is obviously quite rigorous and detailed but in the interests of readability I've diarised the most important bits.
Day One: Feel a little guilty sneaking off to JB's, when my daughter's less than a day old, but PALGN deadlines are deadlines regardless, and this JB trade-in offer won't last forever. I'm also feeling a little guilty trading in my eleven year old son's DS games but, we've got a new baby in the house and I'm pretty certain the appeal of whistling to those virtual dogs had long since vanished. Anyway, the maternity ward is closed to all visitors for the next two hours and my son and I have to eat.
Day Two, Morning: Awake this morning to the soothing sounds of a babbling brook. I remember I don't have a babbling brook. Enter ensuite to discover the hot tap washer has gone on strike with the expected gushy result. Fix washer only to discover more serious plumbing disease. Two trips to Bunnings, the assistance of one great friend and one water-logged ensuite later and problem solved. My life 1: Chinatown Wars 0.
Vomiting and babies = less game time.
Day Two, Afternoon: I have been struck down with awful tummy lurgy. Bugger. Spend afternoon vomiting. Finally crawl down to after-hours GP for a shot of Maxalon. My Vomitty Life 2: Chinatown Wars 0.
Day Three, Morning: I make it as far as the hospital and manage to even last a couple of hours cooing at baby Anna with the visitors, before unfurling the white flag. Back home for another vomit. Life 3: Chinatown Wars 0.
Day Three, Afternoon: 24 hour bug is clearly more like 48 hour bug. Despite fear of needles I again drive slowly down to medical centre for another Maxalon shot. Life 4: Chinatown Wars 0.
Day Four, Morning: Stomach bug clearly doesn't like being pigeon holed. I can see I'm going to have to re-familiarise myself with my twenty-four times tables. Today's going home day. I drive to the hospital and then proceed to make twenty trips to the car, laden with floral bouquets and stuffed animals; the hidden downside of our friends' incredibly wonderful generosity.
Day Four, Afternoon: Before turning my attention at last to the DS, I turn to the Monday papers still lying unread on the kitchen bench. Since when did domestic air travel become so dangerous? The news leaves me troubled and even less inclined to play Chinatown Wars. Just days before I'd been inspired to go back and play GTA IV after reading the review for the well received GTA IV Lost and the Damned DLC. Now I'm not feeling so inclined, even if it wasn't for the constant rumba going on inside my stomach.
Day Five, Morning: 60 Hour Bug? That doesn't sound right. Do they even have 60 hour bugs? 60 hour Ford car sales sure, but stomach bugs? Just as I'm trying to put the Sydney Airport murder in some sort of perspective (different city, far away) comes news of more alleged Bikie violence; a double murder with one man charged, that took place just two suburbs away in sleepy Canberra. Life 5: Chinatown Wars 0.
Day Six: Babies are demanding in so many ways but one of the ways that manifests itself is in a demand to be looked at. And if it's your own baby, the demand is even stronger. It's a hypnotic thing. You can lose hours just staring at your baby, and you don't even mind. Life 6: Chinatown Wars 0.
Day Seven: Game over; or more accurately, not really ever begun. In a week that saw the toilet become my best friend (that sentence looks worse in print than it sounded in my head) GTA: Chinatown Wars didn't really get a look in. What little I did play (my stats rose to lofty single digit heights) seemed compelling, but just no match for my game resistant lifestyle.
I don't need a new DSi, the new version of the PSP, or the latest and greatest software. What I need is a new lifestyle, or at the very least, a cure for this damn stomach bug.
Until next weekend, that’s The Wrap.
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